I can’t do this anymore

[Lonelylockdownlass]

I’m mum to a 13yr old girl and 7 yr old boy

I run my own business, and have worked from home since March, it’s not an incredibly onerous job, but all responsibility falls on me.

My husband has, up until now, also worked from home.

I have home schooled the children and until 6pm at night, all of the parenting and entertainment is down to me.

This week my husband has returned to work and my daughter has turned into a typical teen. Stroppy, disinterested, scornful.

Today we were due to go out for pancakes at a nice restaurant that we only go occasionally as a treat. On our way the car broke down and we had to stop. As we set of walking my daughter said ‘why don’t we goanother day, no one but you wants to go anyway’ she had previously wanted to go.

I ignored the sullenness and know that she is MUCH nicer once fed, so continued walking. She then began muttering you my son about how I only ever do things I want to do and how I never listen to her.

I’m so upset writing this, because I have t done ANYTHING for myself in six months. It’s all been about the kids.

As we continued the walk she got more verbal with me and I admit to losing it. I got hold of her arms (a really stupid thing to do, I didn’t hurt her at all, I wanted to make her look me in the eyes) and shouted at her about how selfish she was being, this was supposed to be a treat and she’s ruining it. I’m so disappointed in myself for acting like this. I’m normally do good at letting her comments slide past me, though for the past few days we have had run-ins about her attitude. She screamed at me how scared she is of me

My daughter then walked home and my son started telling me how un-hungry he was and how scared he was Too. So we turned and went home.

I text my husband to say I’ve reached the end of my tether and can’t do this anymore and he replied ‘I’ll ask mum to have them for a day’

I’m so disappointed and angry at him. He is able to work without a single care about anyone except himself.

I’m now sat alone in a room, my daughter is in her room and my poor son is alone downstairs. I just can’t find it in myself to care, and that makes me feel awful.

I don’t know what to do.

I have been an apologised to my daughter. I’ve told her that I’m doing a terrible job of being her mum at the moment and I shouldn’t have laid hands on her. She just scrolled through tiktok videos on her phone like I didn’t exist.

I don’t even know what I want from this post. Someone to talk to I guess.

It’s really heartwarming to read all of your posts; though I’m really sorry to those who had an unhappy childhood.

I expected to receive much negative feedback because I laid hands on my daughter. I’m certainly very aware of the fact that I crossed this line.

I’ve since spoken to DH. He is gutted I’m feeling so down about this. I think I’ve just come to the end of my tether. He also acknowledged that he doesn’t parent with anywhere near as much attention as he could, and naturally relies on me to do everything. He was horrified that I told him I felt totally invisible and that my wishes, feelings, and to an extent, needs are being unmet.

He’s Now working from home one day per week, so that there is someone else here for me to speak to occasionally, and has taken a day off each week to enable me to go into work. (My business isn’t open on weekends). When the children go back to school, he (and I!!!) will return to work.

I have been taking small chunks of time for myself, walking the dog alone after dinner etc, but invariably the children would come in their bikes, or dh would suggest we ought to all go, or it rained and that time sort of fizzled. The persistent rain doesn’t help my mood!

Car being fixed on Saturday thank goodness! We do live within walking distance of most places (except work!) but the awful weather at the moment makes getting anywhere tricky.

Anyway, today is another day. She is at work and I’m going to motivate the kids (and myself) to get dressed and start the day. I have a plethora of pears from my pear tree so I’m going to spend the day baking I think.

Hi, unfortunately it is nornal and I have had a meltdown recently too. I have two teens and younger children and thr constant sniping, moodiness and passive aggressive comments can really grind you down.

It's not easy to so things for yourself if you are working and have children to look after with minimal help, but I say to myself that the time will come where you will be able to. Covid has made things a lot more intense too.

I would just go and talk to her, explain your feelings and why you did what you did and move on. Tee agers need to know you are human too and make mistakes too.