14 year old son is talking about suicide - where do I get help privately?

[Username6209]

He's been suffering from anxiety for a few years. Lockdown seems to have made everything worse. Sees no point in life or living.
Obviously we're very upset and want to get him to talk to a professional immediately. We can afford to go private.
Do we contact a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist?
How do we find someone?
We're in West London if anyone has any recommendations?
Thanks

I would ask your GP for an urgent private referral to a psychiatrist qualified to treat children.

I would look for a clinical psychologist to see him privately and do an initial assessment. You can self refer if you aren't claiming on private medical insurance.

I will be starting a new job in a few months which has Bupa for all my family so it would make sense, longer term, to use one of their people but I don't want to wait that long.
A big problem at the moment is so few are having face to face sessions.
@Chapellass any thoughts on how I'd look for a clinical psychologist?

Your GP will be able to refer you - start there.

So sorry you are going through this and while I can’t help with what you asked, I just hope that your boy finds the peace that mine did. It is scary and horrible but there is light ahead. DM me if you like.

When my ds was in need of camhs but the wait was very long I called them and asked if they could recommend anyone who worked privately. Some of their counselors do post NHS part private.

I would say psychiatrist rather than psychologist

Also please don’t wrote off the NHS /m- the help you can get is amazing - ranging from emergency psychiatry referral and daily visits from the crisis team at home when too severe for primary care only but with a view to keeping out of hospital

I appreciate not be everyone’s experience

If you can afford to go private, contact the nightingale hospital which has an excellent mental health department. In Marylebone. They're doing zoom therapy sessions at the moment:

www.nightingalehospital.co.uk

Patient Services Supervisor:
Elaine Thompson-Dixon
[email protected]u_
Hospital reception: +44 (0)20 7535 77000_
Direct line: +44 (0)20753577511_

They're also covered as a hospital by Bupa so hopefully you can get that after you start your new job.

Start with the GP, they may be able to refer to someone. Don't worry about BUPA, they sometimes have a limit on how many episodes of MH they cover, which we ran up against.

Look on the BACP website for a psychologist specialising in adolescents, look at Young Minds and Kooth and stay calm. It's such a worrying time but just being a rock who provides food, peaceful place to sleep is the best place to be.

I really want to stress that with a 14 year old with possible suicidal thoughts, you need a psychiatrist, not a psychologist.

I would caution against the Nightingale - hopefully though they’ move improved since the last CQC report and the suicide on site

Agree with @Redhair23 that it’s a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist

Thank you all very much for your suggestions. We will phone our GP in the morning and seek a referral from them.

I would suggest you also contact the school nurse. I've found them to be very helpful at talking to CAMHs when GP refused to engage/refer (for a less serious issue) They may be able to fast track a referral ang at the very least get you on line help if not face to face.

I will send you a DM

Our son is reluctant to go and talk to a psychiatrist/therapist as he thinks that doing that proves he's 'crazy'.
I think he will come around but just wondering if others had experienced this and how you convinced your child to give it a try?

If he is talking about suicide then nhs help will be quick. Your gp is the best person to speak to even if you are going private

I dont think you will be able to use private health if you report this to GP or start treatment now as it will be pre existing condition. Well that has been the case with all my private health. However it sounds like you should pay now and not wait for the private insurance to start. Good luck.

The private health insurance will cover pre existing conditions.

Can someone explain please how I can send PM to OP? I'm on phone app and can't find how to do it - thanks

If he really is suicidal with any kind of plan, then a trip to A and E would be in order. They will bleep the on-call mental health people who can put a care plan in place.

@BCBG - do you get this option (which is what I see on my phne)?

Is he able to verbalise what the root of his anxiety is? Do you know?

Do NOT do what I did, and in desperation google a nearby child clinical psychologist. She was worse than useless I'm afraid.

Go via your GP for a proper private referral maybe? Samaritans? Is there a Samaritans-like charity suitable for teens?

Do you know why he doesn't see a future? Can you help him in planning his future? What does he like doing - what would he want to do?

My son was never (as far as I'm aware) actually suicidal, but he had significant problems - anxiety, withdrawal, school refusal etc. Some time at home with me, (with the pressure taken off him completely), then starting a new school he actually liked, and learning to play the guitar worked wonders for him. The psychologist couldn't get through to him at all - he just didn't want to talk to her.

Sorry you're going through this - I know how painful this is - for us, there was a very good outcome (after some time) - I hope there is for you too.

For support for you OP, Papyrus are very good and have a lot of advice.

papyrus-uk.org/help-advice-resources/