I'm a single mum with no extended family at all. I am deeply ashamed to admit I have secretly begun to despise my lazy, selfish foul mouthed teenagers. Boy 14 and girl 13. They hate each other too, always fighting - even in public, at nice restaurants, in shops, on holiday, at friends houses, everywhere in fact. They do no schoolwork, despite being very smart, are always in detention, and are falling behind in every subject. They don't listen to a word I say. Their rooms are so filthy with blood stained knickers under the bed and curdled mugs of milk on their book shelves. I love them so much and try everything I can to get them to understand how stressful it is for me to be living in a war zone, but they genuinely don't care. They both see their school counsellor and even during lockdown, the school was brilliant and they had sessions over the phone. Really though, it makes no real change. I've tried removing privileges such as wifi and 'grounding' them, but the fact is they have no respect for me or my rules and will only ever unite if it's against me. Then the name calling starts. I've begun to feel really depressed. I am ashamed to say I wish I had never had kids.