Sorry this will be a long post, as don't want to drip feed, and am also feeling really out of my depth with this and just need an outlet.
My oldest son seems happy in general. He's got lots of mates and is pretty bright, with a clear focus on what he wants to do when he finishes school. He has a weekend job which he recently returned to following furlough. He's usually honest, thoughtful and very affable - I've never had any issues with him...out of all my children, he's always been the least complicated.
A few days ago, I noticed that he had some scratches at the top of his arm. I wasn't particularly suspicious and asked him how he did them and he told me they were from our cat. I thought this was questionable, but just assumed that he was covering up a drunken fall or prank. I didn't think any more of it.
This morning I went into my son's room and noticed that he had some deep scratches down his forearm. They looked self inflicted. I asked about them and he told me to "drop it". It then dawned on me that he's been wearing long sleeved shirts to work or wearing a hoodie over Tshirts for the past couple of weeks. My partner and I have joked about how he must be boiling...and now I'm wondering how I could have been so stupid not to realise.
Following his initial response, I have now managed to have a long chat with him, and he explained that he has found lockdown very strange and felt he had lost all motivation and focus. He said the lack of routine started to make him feel frustrated, and one day he had the urge to cut himself. He described the cut as being well worth it, as it made him in control. He said he then would do it every time he felt sad. For the past two weeks he has cut himself once every day. Prior to that it was less frequent. He said he's not depressed, as these bouts of sadness are just short periods of the day, but they can be overwhelming when they do occur.
Since Lockdown has eased up, he has been meeting with friends and going for walks so he hasn't been isolated in that sense. He returned to work last week, so has some elements of normality returning to his life. He has told me that there is no main cause of his upset other than the general disruption of Covid.
This all seems really out of character. I'm really at a loss of what to do. He is insisting he doesn't need any help and doesn't want anybody to know but I feel that he may benefit from having someone to talk to.
Has anybody got any experience of this ?
Many thanks in advance.