DD1 just been caught by teacher out of school, drinking alcohol.... wtf do I do?

[DoctorFrankenSquonk]

Actually, the teacher says that dd1 probably wasn't drinking, but the others that she was with were. Couldn't go and collect her as I have no transport so they have kept her in school.

She is already grounded at home, and she is on report at school.

Any ideas?

Take her phone off her.
Bring her to A&E on a Saturday night.

consider the phone confiscated.

A & E on a Saturday not a bad idea...

how old is she?

13

Really hard, if you 'take her on' it becomes a battle. I suppose it depends on what sort of relationship you have with her, if it's a one off etc.
Why is she on report?
Why has she been grounded already at home?

agree about the A&E trip that'll shock her a bit

My db's class were brought to a residential alcohol rehab center when he was about 15 and it scared the sh*t out of him. Mind you he was a really straight kid anyhow but if my dd was going a bit wild I think I would try a shock treatment like that.

But I also think that 17yr old drivers should be made spend a night with an ambulence crew before they are given their driving test.....

on report for missing a detention which she got for forgetting her homework (not the end of the world, but the school thought that it would get her back on the right track)

Grounded for generally being a teenager, strops, slamming doors, answering back, that kind of thing.

ok, so the stuff to date is all pretty average I would think. I like Carmenere's rehab visit.

Rehab & Night with Ambulance crew sounds like a good idea!

A & E on a Saturday night, followed by a rehab visit... these are good for the alcohol thing. Any ideas about the truancy?

for every time she truants, her phone is removed.

for how long?

How about a trip to a university to see a play or something. If she soaks up a bit of atmosphere she may be able to see her self there in the future?

carmenere - that is a fab idea!

Will deffo look at doing that.

Bring her to York then Squonk - pretty campus and lots of plays on (because they are strong on drama).

Each time she truants - start with conviscating her phone, then if she carrys on her ipod etc. and don't give them back till shes earnt back trust.

Love Carms idea about Uni or college play, maybe spend an evening once a week just together and talk and chat.
I didn't have that with my mum, and we do now i actually look forward to it, and wished we done it back then.

Carm -great idea, more positive than negative. I do know there has to be a negative after bad behaviour but with teenagers a assume it can feel like a long, long battle. Good to have something to look forward to.

How about giving her a small budget to plan the activity? She can then pick and chose what she wants to do, find the best deals re travel, venue etc. Might give her a bit of responsibility...

another good idea, muppetgirl

Kathy - twill be York or Hull - and after York's performance on University Challenge last night, I suspect York

right, she's home.

She said that she deffo wasn't drinking as she doesn't like lambourghini I think she means lambrini.

She said that she didn't have the guts to say no when one of the other girls asked her to come along.

Have confiscated phone, told her she can't come to the fair with us this weekend and told her that I may phone school and ask if she can be separated from this girl who she can't say no to.

Will see how Saturday night pans out - you may see us lurking at Hull Royal.

Thanks everyone for your input this morning - was a tad upset by this.

Her report card, btw says: "excellent" "excellent" "caught truanting" "excellent" "excellent - as always" "fantastic"

Have pointed this out to her as well.

She is currently being very very nice, quiet, helpful and all round perfect daughter.