DD 15 body dysmorphia CAMHS help

[CarlyWarly1980]

My fifteen nearly sixteen year old daughter has just been diagnosed with body dysmorphia and I am wondering if any parents are in the same boat? We had a long wait to even be seen by CAMHS here (North of England) and although I'm relieved to know the diagnosis, things are still tough. Can anyone advise or anyone had this? DD is in shock and won't admit that it's true. She thinks everyone feels like she does deep down. She is moody, demanding, unbearable sometimes but I love her so much and want her to be happy again. I miss my little girl. I think things have been going badly for her for about two nearly three years now. I hope there's a light at the end of this lonely, dark tunnel.

It is very tough at the moment and I'm just hoping I'm not alone in feeling like this. I just want her to be happy 😔

Anyone?

So sorry about your DD and her diagnosis. I’m not in the same boat but wanted to drop some words of encouragement anyway. You’re being really strong for her already by holding firmly on to the belief that there will be light at the end of this tunnel, there certainly is help out there and she can overcome this. Wishing you all the best.

I suffered from BDD and eating disorders from my late teens into my early 20’s so I can understand what your daughter might be feeling. My mood completely changed, I became argumentative, angry at everyone and everything and lashed out for absolutely no reason. I couldn’t honestly understand why people weren’t seeing things from my point of view. I felt like a fat ugly mess 100% of the time, spent hours in front of the mirror criticising every aspect of my appearance. It made me so cross when my family would ‘lie’ to me telling me how I was too thin. I was convinced everyone was conspiring against me!

The switch finally flipped with me when I completely broke down to my mum who I was always so close with before it all started. When I poured my heart out I think she finally started to understand I truly believed what was in my head and why I was acting out the way I did. From there I managed to get the help I needed! With the proper help, support from my family I managed to beat it and come out the other side! Acceptance of my diagnosis was a massive step in my recovery. I think if your daughter can accept her diagnosis and realise that only she sees herself that way it’ll really help.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, your daughter is young and has such an amazing life ahead of her. She will get through this. My mum was my rock during this low point in my life, she’s always been there for me. You sound like an amazing mother, you obviously care for and love your daughter so deeply. It’ll go a long way! She’s very lucky to have you!

4 years ago all that mattered to me was being thin, I loathed myself and couldn’t ever imagine a life beyond what I was feeling.

Now I have recovered, I’m so happy, I’m now married and I’m 4 months pregnant (and absolutely embracing my changing body!)

Hi, sorry you've not had many replies but I can relate to everything you are saying; my DD 16 has BD and did very well at covering up how much she was struggling for a long time. Unfortunately it is not a well understood condition and research into the illness is scant. If you take a look at bddfoundation.org/, it is a great site for resources and support. They normally hold a conference every year for anyone interested or affected by this very serious condition. I can highly recommend it as you can hear talks from leading experts in the field who discuss treatment options and from young people undergoing treatment or who are recovered, who share their own personal experiences of BD. It helped me in my understanding of how to help my daughter. Over and above this though it is a chance to connect with other parents who are going through this and that shared experience leaves you feeling less alone and not so guilty and ashamed that you have somehow failed your child. Recovery is a long complex process so I would urge you to research this site as you need to be educated regarding referal pathways; outside of London the treatment is pot luck and although there are therapies that work with this disorder your local CAMHS service might not have the inhouse skill to offer the most appropriate and effective treatment. I wish you both well and please be assured that you most certainly are not alone.

My DC is under CAMHS for this, in addition to co-morbid conditions (EDis, ASD, depression and suicidal ideation). It is not easy and the advent of phones, social media, selfies and horrible online quizzes designed to make people feel insecure about their looks and being encouraged to buy products doesn’t help. I don’t have answers for you but I can say that having diagnoses, reading about conditions and the talking therapy has helped the whole family. It does help having a therapist that has experience in this area and understands the ‘black and white’ thinking of ASD. Acknowledging your daughter’s anxiety and not trivialising the condition will help too.

@Waving, you could be describing my daughter. We are currently undergoing assessments for ASD with CAMHS; the rigid thinking definitely throws up communication challenges. I agree completely with your comments about technology. Prior to the advent of mobiles I think girls could nagivate the complexities of secondary school group dynamics. The revolution in communication and the new demands this places on how ASD brains process social interaction is now overwhelming these children; it is just too much. It is this phenomenon that is now revealing a huge tranche of girls with ASD; particularly high functioning ASD. All the co-morbidities are no accident and I know of several other parents going through exactly the same thing with their daughters. Sorry if this reads that I am ignoring boys as I know that boys are just as vulnerable to BD but there is a definite link here with ASD in girls and BD that is not yet properly appreciated.