What's your rules for teens screen time?

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

Sorry I'm here again asking for parenting tips because I have no clue what is and isn't reasonable and I have no one else to ask.

I have 2 teens, one nearly 14 and once nearly 16, the nearly 16 yr old is developmentally delayed so probably has an age of about 12/13.
They have no ability to self regulate and if left to their own devices they'll literally spend 24/7 on Minecraft, Roblox or Xbox WWE.

They're not allowed Fortnite after they started getting incredibly and disturbing in their choice of language.

They both have mobiles and we have a family Xbox and PlayStation/Switch etc. All have really tight parental controls on.

We obviously need to think about loosening these especially when DS hits 16 bit I don't know how much to be taking in the development delay, he's being assessed for ASD so I don't know if I can access guidance then.

Both of them have little to no friendships (DS2 has more than DS1) and both won't leave the house unless made to.

I don't know what to do, they've always had the same restrictions despite different ages as DS2 acts more mature than DS1.

I need to find balance between encouraging time out the house, getting a social life and school work but also have age appropriate screen time.

I’d be interested to see answers here as I’ve been wondering this too. it seems there is more time than ever before for our teens to spend on screens now since this pandemic

I agree that left to her own devices my DD14 will spend all day going from one screen to another...
I don’t have a set limit but try to have a discussion in the morning about what the plans for the day are. This should involve some exercise, homework (during school time) helping with a few chores etc. Then we negotiate how much screen time she should have. Then check in again later in the day (early evening perhaps) to see how things are going and if all well, then perhaps more. However all devices have to be handed in by 11 (around 9.30 during school time)

No limits here.. kids are older now (20s ) but fortnight was a saviour.. they made loads of friends .. and are now both employed through people they met playing fortnight.

Probably NOT what wanted to hear.

TBH as Fortnight is 'the game' .. not playing it cuts them off from most their peers..

The recommended maximum screen time is one hour until 12yo and 2 hours a day until 18yo, including any screen, TV, phones, PC, game consoles...
Without restrictions my DD16 would spend the entire day on her phone, considering the fact she uses a tablet for schoolwork and she watches TV, I set the parental control on her phone to maximum 1 hour a day of screen time (on school days, 2 hours on Sunday).
Honestly, excluding educational activities, one hour a day is quite enough and I have absolutely no intention of changing that soon.
All the screens should be blocked at least one hour before bedtime, and of course during the night, so in many days (with school, schoolwork, sport, chores, healthy activities,...) there is not even space for more screen time.
Not necessarily you need to loosening the restriction, it could be even more appropriate and useful to keep that for a few more years.

@disorganisedsecretsquirrel - mine we're allowed Fortnite until I heard my second born screeching that he was going to "mutilate your skull" at his brother who had walked in front of the TV. They're both over the game now anyway and don't seem to miss it. The level of obsession over it was scary so it was cut off cold turkey.

It is really hard when every other kids seems to have unlimited access, their peers at school are pinging group chats until the wee hours (when I get up and out the phones on silent) I don't know if those kids can self regulate better than mine or if their parents just aren't as worried about it as we are.
If mine willingly went out the house now and again or made an effort to see friends or even spoke to others on the phone I'd be far more relaxed about it.

@Mary8076 where are those recommendations from? They seem wildly unrealistic, especially now. I spend most of the day on a screen. My 14 y o does too. Either on laptop or phone, often both. It’s his only pleasure according to him. I think most parents have given up any controls by this age unless they have very compliant kids.
What I do instead is insist on some non-screen time. But there is very little to do. We live in a city, he has no friends he sees ( that’s another issue), too old to be made to do organised activities and none are running anyway, no volunteering or work available. Isolation is so crap I hate to make his life worse.

I'm interested in this too

@Aramox This period of isolation is different, I was talking about "normal" everyday life and the one hour limit is a basic rule. There are occasional exceptions, if required a little more time is allowed/earned when it's appropriate and not exclusively for entertainment.

I cannot find the scientific study about teens, screens and effects on their brains but it's plenty of articles about this issue:

www.techadvisor.co.uk/feature/digital-home/how-much-screen-time-for-kids-3520917/
"So how much screen time for children?
...Children aged 2-5 years should have no more than an hour a day, and children aged 5-18 years should have no more than two hours a day. That's a tough call for teenagers, especially with homework often requiring computer time. But remember that the real danger is non-educational, leisure screen time, so you may wish to discount homework screen time.
Parents should be able to decide if these strictures are too harsh, and allow some screen time flexibility, but not caring at all about the amount of time your children spend in front of screens is dangerous."

www.theguardian.com/society/2019/aug/26/uk-teens-exercise-screen-time-guidelines

www.parent24.com/Teen_13-18/Development/what-is-an-appropriate-screen-time-limit-for-teens-we-could-be-back-to-square-one-20181108#:~:text=In%20my%20view%2C%20The%20American,with%20flexibility%20for%20special%20circumstances.

theconversation.com/new-findings-add-twist-to-screen-time-limit-debate-105717

relationadvisors.com/negative-effects-of-social-media-on-teenagers-and-youth/#quotes-three

This could explain the reason it's very hard, if not impossible, for teens to self regulate on something like screen time:
www.betterhelp.com/advice/adolescence/adolescent-brain-development-and-what-it-means/

Thanks for those links - this one www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2211335518301827 is especially firm. I still think one hour is impossible for most. Maybe 4, which is ‘moderate’? But most of us are stuck with screen-based kids for the foreseeable future, even if we could normally impose limits.

I had hoped to have a wider response of what other people do. This parenting malarkey is bloody tough when you have no one to ask IRL!

@Mary8076 - 1 hour a day for a 16 year old seems quite strict to me!

@Aramox - I could have written your post regarding my DD, also 14. I do limit screen time and make sure screens go away before bed time. But what else is there to do with teens? Swimming pools, cinemas etc all closed. Too old for me to organise activities for her, but not confident enough to organise her own things. She does get a lot of pleasure from computer games (and is studying computer science) so I don’t want to take that enjoyment away from her. Plus she reads, draws, bakes too. Doesn’t see friends much sadly....
I did drag them all out for a walk today which I think they enjoyed in the end! But I wish there were more teen-friendly activities open.

I've been wondering the same op. I'd recently let DS (14) stay up later than me playing xbox (not Fortnite) I not to find on several occasions he'd stayed up all night and then subsequently slept all day.

All electronics have currently been taken away after an incredibly rude outburst at me suggesting that if he wanted to get up in time for something the next day (that he wanted to go to) then he might need to get some sleep.

This causes massive stamping and shouting and therefore he's still without Xbox and his phone. I'm going to insist on a finish time once he does apologise and gets them back. I'm trying to find a way to switch off the WiFi (other than by unplugging it) so they can't be used after a certain time but not sure if that's possible.

@AnneElliott For what I know that is possible, you can enter in your router page (look online for your wifi router model + something like settings/control page/parental control, or just in your router paper guide) and probably there's already an option to limit the working hours (if it's not an old one). Second option, I think xbox has some parental control in the settings, I found quickly this one online support.xbox.com/help/family-online-safety/online-safety/set-screen-time-limits
Either way, be sure you are the only one to know the passwords, if necessary change them.

@Squidsister the limit is about useless apps, in schooldays they have just the afternoon to make schoolwork and more healthy activities... it is something like one-sixth of this time to spend on screen just for entertainment, in my opinion it's quite enough. Anyway, that is a ground rule, occasionally there can be exceptions. The goal is just to avoid screen addiction.