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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

no social distancing

27 replies

UntamedWisteria · 31/07/2020 08:26

DS (18) & his pals are very good about wearing masks in shops etc, but have no regard for social distancing or any of the other rules/guidelines.

I feel this is becoming increasingly 'normal' now among his age group.

There have been parties - albeit outdoors, trips together to the seaside to share an Air BnB with friends from different households, small gatherings at other people's houses where they sometimes camp but often end up sleeping inside.

Now, I know they've had a really crap time - DS's post-A-level holiday with his friends obviously couldn't go ahead, and now they are getting increasingly anxious about their A-levl grades, and an online-only University experience in the Autumn, so want to cut them some slack.

I just wish they would be a bit more responsible - especially now we are seeing these new regional flare ups. Although our area is rural and has never had a high infection rate.

OP posts:
Bakedtreat · 31/07/2020 10:03

I have observed the same. Not sure how you can police it. He's 18, you can't follow him around.

Original poster
UntamedWisteria · 31/07/2020 15:55

I know. I can't really stop him from doing what he wants, just talk to him about the risks. Like any risky teenage behaviour! It's just that unlike, sex, drugs & drink this also puts others at risk.

I'm sure it's not just him & his mates either.

Just wondered what others' experience is?

OP posts:
pasanda · 31/07/2020 22:38

My 19yo ds is the same. Has his own car so goes wherever. He has an amazing social life considering Covid!

Ilikewinter · 31/07/2020 22:45

I work in a large city, currently under lockdown....cant tell you how busy the pubs have been today, BIG groups of youngsters coming through train stations, theres no way they all live together!. Majority wear masks but zero social distancing, lots of hugging going on, im afraid i think the young ones are to blame for a lot of the increase in covid figures.

ineedaholidaynow · 31/07/2020 22:51

I think it is the young ones causing the rise at the moment, problem is it will the older more vulnerable people in their families that will probably suffer.

Mustbetimeforachange · 31/07/2020 22:54

Same here, the youngsters seem to be carrying on as normal. This is our biggest threat at the moment.

BillywilliamV · 31/07/2020 23:02

Covid is not their problem though, you cant expect them to put their lives on hold forever!

Sarahbeans · 31/07/2020 23:02

Unfortunately, I'd say the same too.

We're being quite strict with my eldest, because my youngest is clinically vulnerable with a chronic disease she has. Eldest is reasonably sensible, but I still see her friends meeting up, having sleepovers with little social distancing.

It's very hard to police.

ineedaholidaynow · 31/07/2020 23:04

But it will be their problem if we have to keep closing things and the economy gets worse, there won't be any jobs for them

ScubaSteven · 31/07/2020 23:05

@BillywilliamV yes we can - they can put their lives on hold to save lives just like everyone else.

What makes them so special that they don't have to make sacrifices to help manage the spread?

lljkk · 01/08/2020 09:07

They made a lot of sacrifices already & more will come. Even if the Youf were perfectly behaved there are going to be rolling school and other closures due to all the other imperfectly behaved plus the virus is designed to spread & humans can't actually stop human contact (they actually need human contact) and then there are imported cases which even Hong Kong & Singapore can't stop because you can't control spread in rest of the world. I can't rise to trying to police my young adults having some social contact & fun.

allfalldown47 · 01/08/2020 09:10

I heard yesterday that a lot of teens & people in their 20s see the covid test as a new version of the morning after pill Confused
Apparently it's common for that age group to have multiple tests, so the thinking is they are socialising etc and then getting tested a few days after!

Meangallery · 01/08/2020 09:25

@allfalldown47

I heard yesterday that a lot of teens & people in their 20s see the covid test as a new version of the morning after pill Confused Apparently it's common for that age group to have multiple tests, so the thinking is they are socialising etc and then getting tested a few days after!
Mine don't see it like that - they just don't see Covid as a risk to themselves!
ineedaholidaynow · 01/08/2020 09:30

But they need to know they are a risk to others.

Meangallery · 01/08/2020 09:31

@ineedaholidaynow

But they need to know they are a risk to others.
Do you have teens?
Original poster
UntamedWisteria · 01/08/2020 09:44

MY DS understands the situation perfectly well.

It doesn't mean he's going to change his behaviour, because none of his friends are.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 01/08/2020 09:50

I have a young teenager who is currently keeping to the rules. He also wants to do well in his GCSEs.

He also lived with the knowledge for quite a few years when my DF had cancer that we couldn’t visit GPs if anyone of us were ill, even a cold, so plans had to be cancelled often at short notice. Whether this will help give him a social conscience in a few years time I don’t know. But something has to be done, because unless the virus becomes less powerful and doesn’t impact the vulnerable and elderly as much, we are going to be living a crap life for a very long time, and our younger children will not have a proper education as schools will not be able to carry on as normal.

Topseyt · 01/08/2020 10:07

I'm pretty sure my 18 year old and her friends are no longer social distancing much (if at all) when they meet up.

I personally can see no point in even trying to police it. Even if they were to humour you and social distance while in your company, they'll just stop bothering as soon as they are away from you.

There's a limit as to how much longer many people are going to accept this whole pantomime for.

I have my masks and wear them where required don't have to like them and am not a big socialiser anyway. I'm more of a natural social distancer myself, as is DH much of time, so we do minimise risk.

Meangallery · 01/08/2020 10:34

ineedaholidaynow You have a young teen, I get why you don't understand - a lot will change in the next few years for your teen - I suspect he must be at most Year 10 - so not really at the partying, socialising stage...for the teens at this stage social distancing is very hard...their who focus is outside the home, their friends, finding a sexual partner...it is a force of nature and as a parent you are no longer in the driver's seat of your child's life - and neither should you be. Of course we have all explained the consequences to our young people of spreading the virus - does it make a difference, I don't think so - to the majority around here...it's the reality of the situation - their attitude to risk is vastly different at this age.

allfalldown47 · 01/08/2020 11:58

My two older teens are ultra sensible but their Dad & Grandad are both shielding and I think this is why. Maybe they would be a little more carefree if they didn't feel it was such a potential threat?

Meangallery · 01/08/2020 12:24

@allfalldown47

My two older teens are ultra sensible but their Dad & Grandad are both shielding and I think this is why. Maybe they would be a little more carefree if they didn't feel it was such a potential threat?
That must be hard for them. We still insist on social distancing at home if the teens are entertaining and they respect my wishes but they tell me no other parents insist upon it and no friends pay any attention to it.
SnuggyBuggy · 01/08/2020 12:32

I'll sound like a horrible person but at 18 I don't know how bothered I would have been about this, it's a selfish age where your focus is forging a life of your own. They probably aren't in direct contact with older more vulnerable people unless they live in the same house and they are low risk themselves.

allfalldown47 · 01/08/2020 16:24

@Meangallery same problem for my 2 SadTheir friends are having big gatherings in gardens, house parties, sleepovers etc
It's tough for them!

allfalldown47 · 01/08/2020 16:25

@SnuggyBuggy you don't sound mean! At 18 I don't know how thoughtful I would have been? You feel invincible at that age, I know I was considerably more carefree than I am now!

Chelsea567 · 01/08/2020 22:26

My DD 17 is hanging round with her mates and there's zero social distancing going on. I think the problem is for us oldies normality is chatting to the neighbours over the fence, whereas teenage normality is hanging out taking selfies with each other, sleepovers and games nights including twister HmmAnd lots of people have returned to their version of normality.