DD15.5 watching porn

[worriedmumofdd]

God I feel sick. NC for this.

So she came to me last week in bits, saying she'd been looking at a weird website & it said a virus had infected her phone. I asked which website, she said the name ended in 'hub' and I clarified it was Pornhub.

I did say that it was a scam, iPhones don't generally get viruses, but that o would check her phone over. I said that those kinds of sites contain all sorts of vile and sometimes illegal stuff & that she must stay away from them, & she promised she'd already decided to.

I installed an app that blocked adult content.

Last night, 1am. She woke me up, again in tears, same thing, except this time it said her phone browsing was being tracked, she was scared, & that she had accessed it via another app so
Clearly whatever I installed didn't work.

I mean I am glad she comes to me & is honest but I use that & similar sites a couple of times a month, with & without DH & I have never had a message like that so I wonder what it is she's accessing, but she shuts down when I ask her.

What do I do? She's been with a boy for nearly a year & I know they've progressed things on, definitely not sex, but I think she's a raging bag of hormones. She's my eldest though, has always been immature compared to her peers until very recently & I've not dealt with this before & I don't know what to do.

I think part of me thinks I'd have been doing the same at her age, but the internet seems way scarier than free adult channels on Sky when I was her age....

Bump x

You can find out which sites she has been accessing if you take her phone. She is asking for help and letting you have access so you can look at browsing history.

I think a frank conversation about the porn industry and how people are treated could help. You can never know if the person is taking part willingly or not.

It’s great that she’s come to you. Could you set up your WiFi to not allow this content? It’s quite unlikely she will have been looking at anything “dodgy”’for these messages to come up (as in something that’s illegal/ perverted) I think it’s just luck of the draw and she’s perhaps clicked on a link.

The content certainly isn’t suitable for someone under 16. These sites definitely should be doing more to safeguard children.

Thanks - she got access yesterday through Insta. Pornhub even has an Instagram page 🙄

Good idea re speaking with broadband & mobile providers

Anyone else with input? x

Personally, I was looking at porn regularly at that age. I can’t remember getting any virus notifications off of those sites but I know you get loads of pop ups from sites like putlocker so I can see that it’s possible. It’s usually just a way of advertising an antivirus/vpn/ad blocker or trying to extort you. There’s sites at the moment saying ‘we’ve seen you looking at porn and we’ll share it with everyone if you don’t send bitcoin to this address’ and such, but they haven’t seen it, they’re just hoping someone’s scared enough to pay. I don’t have much advice for blocking sites or trying to prevent pop ups/ads/viruses really. Do pop up blockers work on iPhone? I think it’s pretty normal for her to be exploring her sexuality even if it’s uncomfortable for you and it’s really good you have open communication, that’s so important

It's a different world now! When I was that age we had cable tv and the first screen showed little samples of each channel. Once you got past a certain time the porn channels started. You had to get really close to see anything so it was a bit carp!

I wonder if she’s been looking at this via a proxy VPN as they come with all sorts of gremlins attached.

iPhones are reasonably strong at keeping out nasties like Trojan horses et al but not all.

Bravo btw for your DD being upfront plus you not losing your absolute shit about it. Your comment about the Sky channels vs Nowadays really resonates.

Good luck. You may need a mobile phone shop person to clean the phone and your DD will be the most embarrassed she’s ever been in her life as a result

Are you worried about the computer viruses or the porn?

The threat of a virus is always fake, and I use a sticker to cover my webcam on my laptop.

Porn? She’s a hormonal woman who is probably looking for sex tips. Porn isn’t the best place for realistic sex but I suppose it shows the general gist.

I’m mid 30s and my phone automatically says I can’t access any porn site unless o speak to Vodafone. It sometimes blocks sites that have something sex-related too which is irritating..

If she cried over the prospect of her phone having a virus or being tracked, she doesn't sound mature enough to be getting into a sexual relationship. You definitely need to talk to her about it and teach her about the risks of sex etc. If she has an iPhone, have you set up restrictions? A lot of third party apps won't work as well on the iPhone

Yeah, I’d keep talking to her. Man things have progressed from the days of naughty romance novels. Tell her there’s no shame but it’s intended for older audiences bc it can have a really harmful impact on teenagers, ie requiring more and more drastic content to get the same response. I would also ask where she’s getting the idea from, is it her boyfriend? In which case you should strongly warn her against this. He maybe wanting to try things like this