To pay ds ro stay at college

[Notfeelinggreattoday]

My ds just finished first year at college and is on about leaving and not doing 2nd year ( he would get a part qualification for this ) he's trying for a job but mainly at local cafe type places
I know ultimately its his choice and if he was leaving for a job that had prospects or of he was currently working in cafe andl loved it i would be more willing
I have said for him to get a summer job and then see what he thinks, he hasnt worked before
Also happy for him to switch courses or apply for apprentiship
Ive explained not a good time to be looking for job and he may be better finishing college as things will hopefully improve by then
So we dont currently give him pocket money just as and when ( which is not often ) would it be reasonsble to offer £15 pocket money a week if he stays on at college ( he helps with stuff in house mostly ) kind of an incentive , will let him try and get job for now and see how that pans out as well before mentioning offer as part time job would be ideal for him even if he stays in college
I think missing last couple months of college and doing all work at home has just put him off

Is it FE or HE? How old is he?

What’s his reasoning? Does he have any plans beyond cafe jobs?

I normally think natural consequences are good and bribery is bad, but it depends a bit on the details, I suppose. Are finances swaying his decisions? Is he hard up?

Is this qualification going to massively improve his job prospects. It is often better to take time out of study and really think about what you actually want to study than ploughing on with something that isn't working for you

I would not 'pay him to stay at college' but if lack of money is bothering him and you can afford it then £15 per week isn't too much. I was imagining you paying a wage-level!

Has he said why he doesn't like his current course? Or what other issues he has with college?

He's 17 and tbh the course hes doing I am dubious it will lead to a job as its not something i can see him doing a job in and more of a course based on his hobby, but worth 3 a levels
But we were fine with this as he really no idea what he wants to do so thought it was better he does something he normally enjoys
It is normally a fair amount of practical but obviously due to lockdown he missed a lot and i think thats half issue
I have suggested he tries to get s job and see how it goes as he has a friend who works in a cafe type place who's telling him he earns over a thousand pound a month so think ds needs to see for himself that isn't true at his age on just over minimum wage
We could just about afford to give him an allowance of £15 a week and hopefully if nothing else a part time job comes out of it
He was also a bit shocked when i told him if he has a full time job then we will expect rent and eventually to take over paying fir his phone contract as i believe once working you contribute
( although we wouldnt be desperate fpr his money so would put aside to give back towards a deposit or car etc without telling him )
He's doing well at the course not struggling at all , just think a lot of not wanting to go back is due to lockdown a he liked course before , he found doing work a home with no actual lessons on it quite hard

Also the cafe type job is quite ironic as ds wont load our dishwasher as he doesnt like touching dirty plates , he will only unload . Think he is in for a shock
Its so hard when they have no idea what they want to do

Apart from the issue of whether or not he stays at college, I think he should. He’s too young and inexperienced to understand the consequences of such a decision. The main issue to my mind is why he isn’t already on an allowance and learning to budget?

I would really encourage him to stay at college and a small weekly allowance sounds reasonable.

It is going to be incredibly hard for a teenager with no qualifications to find a job, there are 100s, if not 1000s, of qualified, experienced adults currently seeking employment .

At the very least he could be looking for a weekend/evening job in catering or similar to build up some experience & he could still do this whilst studying.

@Notfeelinggreattoday

Also the cafe type job is quite ironic as ds wont load our dishwasher as he doesnt like touching dirty plates , he will only unload . Think he is in for a shock Its so hard when they have no idea what they want to do

It’s all crates and hoses in most places. No hand washing much now.

He’s not another one doing BTEC Music production/ technology is he? There seem to be hundreds of them.

I second the idea of looking for a p/t job on a cafe or similar in the evenings or weekends. Then he could see if he likes it, whilst still studying. I would encourage him to at least go back between Sept and Christmas as I think it has been hard for students to engage with their learning during the lockdown.

No btech sports , level 3

Not on an allowance as we normally just give him money when he asks within reason , which is rarely tbf
He is good with money and sensible but agree the allowance is worth doing anyway so he learns to manage a set amount

TBF, Sports could actually help with gym and leisure jobs, or provide a clear path to HE. Maybe what he needs is some decent career guidance? Even if it is online initially?

BTEC sport can lead into plenty of degrees if he does well. Even if he's not considering university, leaving with a certificate rather than a diploma won't take him far. Maybe see if there's any football coaching/kids sports clubs etc open over the Summer where he can work.

Getting a job sounds like a great idea but only alongside his studies. If he starts work in a cafe now, that's pretty much all he'll ever do.

Job market is slow

Apprenticeship vacancies have dropped.

If he leaves education and goes back after he's 19, he will have to pay.

At this age, he should have all the doors open.

I assume his course is music/ sport/ other performing arts?

There are still all kinds of things he can progress to from those - related or non related.

Plus, the Raising Participation policy means young people should stay in education or training til he's 18.

If he has never had a job, is he really ready for full time, entry level jobs?

Also that is what i ave told him about getting a job now as i lost mine due to lockdown and currently still looking
We have suggested he tries to get a job and I think he will bs shocked just how hard this is
A part time job alongside college would be my ideal for him as he gets to experience both
He isnt quite 17 ( next month ) so cant drive either and we have rubbish transport here so job will be limited to walking distance too

@ArriettyJones the career guidance sounds a good idea , I will look at what online options there are

There really isn't much out there work wise at the moment for anyone let alone a 17 year old without experience, although this may differ in your local area. BTEC sport could lead to something like a sports teaching assistant, leisure centre role etc so not totally useless but he'll probably want to seek some guidance as PP has said. Try your local authority and see what if any post 16 support they offer. Regarding the money, if he leaves full time ed your child benefit will stop so you could view it as giving him some of that to stay on with the rest being towards the household.

I don't think home learning works for everyone and can understand why his enthusiasm has waned. I don't think a year in a job would be the worst thing right now.

His college should have careers guidance available....?