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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Advice needed please....

10 replies

welshgirl666 · 05/07/2020 20:32

Hi

Just wondering if anyone has been in this situation or can offer any advice.....

Our 14 year old daughter doesnt want to live in our family home with her dad anymore and says either she goes or he goes 😔 they have never really got on that well but seem to be clashing even more lately.

Any advice appreciated....😢

OP posts:
OceanDweller · 05/07/2020 20:36

Seems like a lot of power for a 14 yo to wield. Assume her dad is your partner and you are all a family? Are there other children? What is your partner like with her and in general in the family?

Original poster
welshgirl666 · 05/07/2020 20:45

Yes we are a family and my bf is her dad. We have a 9 year old as well but hes fine with him. Hes generally a very moody person to be honest. They dont get on as he says he hates her attitude and she says hes horrible to her. They are both right but i dont know how to fix it. Now she says she cant live with him anymore as shes so sad and hates him 😢

OP posts:
Itsjustabitofbanter · 05/07/2020 20:47

How is he horrible to her?

GazingAndGrazing · 05/07/2020 20:50

What examples can she give or that you have witnessed him being horrible to her?

14 is a tricky age, they don’t get to call the shots... how is home life in general?

Original poster
welshgirl666 · 05/07/2020 20:51

@Itsjustabitofbanter

How is he horrible to her?
Just the way he speaks to her isnt very nice a lot of the time. He says its because he reacts to her attitude but sometimes its just him being grumpy.
OP posts:
canigooutyet · 05/07/2020 21:01

I wouldn’t want to live with someone who I’d have to walk on eggshells around.

cameocat · 05/07/2020 21:21

Can you go to family counselling?

If he really is that horrible to her then I think I'd be siding with her. He's the adult and should be fixing this.

OceanDweller · 05/07/2020 23:22

Agree. He is the adult. She’s a teenager. They often don’t behave brilliantly. Can be stroppy, selfish, argumentative and very irritating. It comes with the territory. He needs to be the adult and model the behaviour he would like to receive from her. If he’s not interested or capable of doing so then unfortunately he is the main problem here.

Original poster
welshgirl666 · 06/07/2020 12:29

Yes ive tried to side with her and explain to him that she is a teen and is bound to have attitude at times. He is a very hard person to talk to though.

Its such an impossible situation as I really dont want to lose my bf of 20 years or my daughter. 😢

OP posts:
OceanDweller · 06/07/2020 21:19

Family therapy then. Probably with only you and him going first. Good luck. It’s not easy when you’ve a stubborn man and a tricky teenager.

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