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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

be honest how much screen time does your 13/14 year old have?

41 replies

Feellikedancingyeah · 30/06/2020 12:56

Our DC is on his mobile watching you tube or Minecrafting about 10 hours a day. He has about 2 hours of exercise a day.
He doesn't watch any TV and has no game console

OP posts:
LazyDaisy10 · 30/06/2020 19:53

Mine is 14 and he would definitely be on a screen all day if I let him, I dont.
He has 2 hours on ps4 in the evening isnt in social media his choice, and watches a couple of hours of tv/ Netflix.
I would like him to have alot less, 10 hours sounds alot! I would definitely be putting some restrictions in. Does he have friends? Mine unfortunately doesnt which makes it harder but he goes on bike rides with his dad or I just leave him to entertain himself without a screen.

Angelonia · 30/06/2020 19:56

10 hours! Well that's made me feel better about my 14yo (who probably has 3-4 hours at the moment).

IHaveBrilloHair · 30/06/2020 19:58

At that age it was totally free for her, I didn't restrict it.

Whoamireally · 01/07/2020 09:59

My 14 yo daughter is on it probably 10 hours a day. She mostly watches TV in her room, but is also chatting to friends who are spread all around the world as we have moved around quite a bit. I admire anyone willing to have the significant battles that we seem to need to have to get the screens off them.

Rollergirl11 · 01/07/2020 16:06

How are they finding the time to be on 10 hours a day??! Are they not doing any school work? That’s like midday till 10pm!

Aramox · 01/07/2020 16:15

Under lockdown, 10-12 hours a day on phone (at same time as school work) plus 3-5 hours ps4. 20 mins exercise if we’re lucky. Won’t read. Won’t do school work without phone. Hope that makes everyone else feel better.

FishyDuck · 01/07/2020 16:18

I have 3 non-adult DC. DS2 (16) in year 12, DS3 (14) in year 10 and DD (13) in year 8. In our house, screen time depends on age and also has to be earned through study.

Each DC is expected to do a certain amount of (age-dependent) homework/revision per night and weekend that allows them to earn screen time. So for example DS3 has to do 2 hours of study each weeknight and 3 hours over the weekend- this allows him to earn 2 hours of screen time per weeknight and 6 hours over the weekend. This has to include all of his gaming, TV time and phone use.

All of my DC also have to ask permission for screen time and they know we will not give it if their behaviour etc is not up to scratch. So DS will do his study first- he then has to show us what he's done and ask "please may I watch Netflix" or "please can I go on Facebook" or whatever.

The DC can also earn extra screen time through extra study/productive educational activities like language learning. This allows them to earn double the amount of extra studying they do- so if DS does 3 hours of work one evening, he gets 2 hours of extra screen time to use throughout the week when he wishes.

Rollergirl11 · 01/07/2020 16:25

@Aramox can’t you take the phone away during school work and make the PS4 time/phone use conditional on school work being done? Your DC can’t be doing quality school work whilst simultaneously on the phone and all that screen time is very bad. You must know that?

Aramox · 01/07/2020 18:23

I’d love to, but if I do that he says he won’t do any school work at all. And it’s quite possible he’ll stick to it. He insists that everyone works like this, and back at the start of lockdown it seemed important not to have pointless battles! He’s an only child too with few friends so isolation is really shit.

Aramox · 01/07/2020 18:26

I’m amazed that even 16 year olds are having to earn their screentime @FishyDuck. Is this normal with their peers?

Andi2020 · 01/07/2020 18:30

@FishyDuckHmm that sounds very strict for a 16year old what happens when no school

WeakandWobbly · 01/07/2020 18:33

@Aramox we're in the same boat with my 12yo DS. He has ASD/PDA and it has been a total nightmare. No schoolwork being done and countless arguments. On the phone or YouTube constantly, which is why I haven't bought any GAMES consoles . I'm done. Rotten mum of the year award for me , please! 😂

lljkk · 01/07/2020 18:35

DSs are 12 & 16. 10 hrs/day on screens sounds a lot less than they are doing.

Rollergirl11 · 01/07/2020 18:37

@Aramox I think you need to take back some control here. I’m assuming you pay for his phone? If so then it’s your right to take it away from him whenever you see fit. This isn’t a pointless battle. Your DS is holding you to ransom!

FishyDuck · 01/07/2020 18:38

@aramox

None of DS2's friends have unlimited screentime. He gets up to 3 hours on weekdays so long as he does 3 hours' study and 8 hours' study over the weekend = 10 hours' screen time. He can earn more by doing extra revision, which he sometimes does.

DS actually doesn't mind the current arrangement as it forces him to be disciplined with his studying and stops him watching endless Netflix shows.

RedskyAtnight · 01/07/2020 18:39

Pretty much all her waking hours. Most of her school work involves screens these days as well. Even if she's doing something like drawing, she's generally FaceTiming a friend at the same time.

Aramox · 01/07/2020 18:41

That’s a relief to hear. Ds is doing work, apparently to an ok standard though I can’t really tell and it’s mostly not marked. @WeakandWobbly you must be shattered. I do think screens are just life for them esp in lockdown but I hate it. Mine won’t go out either.

FishyDuck · 01/07/2020 18:47

@andi2020

Basically they are all expected to be doing the same amount of work they normally would be during lockdown. So that means a full school day (luckily their school are offering a full timetable of online lessons) plus their usual study time in the evening, which they spend doing homework and revision.

This differs depending on age so DS2 in year 12 does 3 hours, DS3 in year 10 does 2 hours and DD in year 8 does 1.5 hours. They are also expected to do the same amount of work at weekends as during normal term time to keep themselves in a good routine, so that means 8 hours over Saturday and Sunday for DS2, 3 hours for DS3 and 2 hours for DD.

Andi2020 · 01/07/2020 18:54

Schools are finished for summer where I am and I don't get them to do any school work now to September. I don't monitor my 16 15 12 year olds during summer they go out on walk and each day could differ for what they do no routine In summer holidays.
16 yo definitely on it all day but out with friends so socialising alot

yourestandingonmyneck · 01/07/2020 19:11

I find this so sad 😓 screentime just wasn't a "thing" when I was that age. A bit of telly and that was it.

Poor kids. Lockdown is so hard on them and in a lot of ways technology is obviously amazing letting them stay in contact with their friends etc.....but I do hope things change somewhat after lockdown. It just seems so weirdly futuristic. If someone had said to us 20 years ago "by 2020 everybody will carry a mini computer in their pocket and will spend hours everyday just looking at it" we would never have believed them.

Almahart · 01/07/2020 19:14

Fistbump @aramox

One of mine is exactly the same. It's a bloody nightmare and I've given up

The other will do an hour or two and wander off to do something else. If I only had him I would think I was a wonderful parent

Aramox · 01/07/2020 19:42

Mine has minimal schoolwork, a couple of lessons a day and no hw, so there’s more time to fill. Don’t fancy my chances making him do revision!

DonaldTrumpsChopper · 01/07/2020 19:46

My 13 year old is following his school timetable 9am until 3.15pm. Rest of the time he's on his computer, either on Minecraft, recording his YouTube stuff, or playing chess. He's very chatty at meal times, and tidies up after himself, so all fine by me. At least he's enjoying lockdown.

RedskyAtnight · 01/07/2020 21:12

I assume the ones that restrict screen time are not counting the time they are looking at a screen to do school work?

DD does school work for about 5-6 hours a day, and the majority of this, she is looking at something on a screen and/or communicating with friends about the work. That's more hours than she would normally be spending looking at a screen when we are not in lockdown, and I wouldn't think it fair to restrict her "leisured based" screen activities because she has to use a computer for school work.

FishyDuck · 01/07/2020 21:23

@RedskyAtnight

Yep, the DC are on screens from 8.45am -3.15pm for their online lessons- this is totally separate from the screen time that they have to earn in the evenings.

They tend to have a break after 'school' and then do their set amount of homework and study. They will then ask permission to have their screen time once we've checked what work they've done and I'll give them their phones if they choose to spend some of their screen time on them.