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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Handling snarky teenage comments

11 replies

Nutellanjam · 27/06/2020 17:57

I know this is such a teenage cliche but it does literally feel like dd14, has almost overnight become really sarcastic etc, finding fault with everything I do- the way I laugh, or even for paying her a compliment. It’s quite a new thing and seems mainly directed at me. How do others handle these sarky comments ?

OP posts:
Greenvalleymama · 27/06/2020 19:38

I just tell him that was rude, and you mustn't speak to me like that. I don't retaliate or get upset, but I definitely stand up for myself. It's not ok to be mean or rude to the people closest to you, and that needs to be very clearly articulated every time. Like I would deal with a toddler basically. They're still learning and they still need to be reminded of the boundaries.

WeAllHaveWings · 27/06/2020 19:47

Try not to get upset. I chose humour (and the stare) to get my point across to ds(16) and we usually ends up laughing about it, and I get a hug/apology. Banging heads with a teenager in a strop never works.

ChipstickCharlie · 27/06/2020 19:48

My youngest is 13 and he can very occasionally mimic me or give me a bit of cheek. I just stop, look at him and say ' that's really rude of you and you're not being amusing, just really silly. I'm pretty disappointed in your behaviour.'

Of COURSE he will eye roll a bit but I don't care about that. It's about pulling them up about it every time and also not taking it to heart. I actually couldn't care less and it doesn't upset me in the slightest but it's behaviour I don't want to encourage hence why he's told every single time.

So that's what I'd advise. And whatever you do, don't get upset or show that! They just need bringing in line every single time in a dispassionate way.

shawarmakarma · 01/07/2020 15:30

Having just almost permanently alienated my 17 year DD over her snarky comment (which has led to armageddon), I would advise ignoring. It's not worth it.

DrDavidBanner · 01/07/2020 15:48

As hard as it can get, I think the best course of action is to try to rise above it. Try not to get into slanging matches as she'll beat you every time (she knows how to push your buttons and your unconditional love make you an easy target) and you'll just end up exhausted and hurt (been there, worn the t shirt).

I know it's easy to say but it does pass and you will get her back eventually.

This is a horrible stage and you have my full sympathy, I shed more tears through the teen years that I did in the first year and that seemed to go in a blur too. You'll get lots of advice, support and companionship on Teenagers forum, you're not alone.

Rollergirl11 · 01/07/2020 15:57

I don’t agree that you should pull them up every single time. You’d spend the whole time at loggerheads with each other which doesn’t seem productive or pleasant. I think it depends how rude they were. I pick my battles and ignore a certain amount of stroppiness/sarcasm. But if it continues for a prolonged period of time or is particularly nasty then I definitely make my feelings known. DD isn’t a morning person and can a bit of a moody mare until she’s in her stride. I give her a certain amount of leeway then. But generally speaking she knows when she’s overstepped the mark and will instantly apologise without prompting, which she’d probably be less inclined to do if I was constantly having a go at her.

Toilenstripes · 01/07/2020 16:00

A deadpan “that wasn’t funny” “nope, that wasn’t either”....

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 01/07/2020 16:10

A swift oi, gobbo McGobFace, can you not speak to the lady who birthed you for 22 hours and once shone a torch up your arse to check for worms ' usually ends things pretty swiftly.

It clears the room anyways Grin

I've also been known to throw in ' I can't believe the child who used to insist on holding my hand when they had a poo is being so disrespectful ' SadGrin

DrDavidBanner · 01/07/2020 16:25

I've also been known to throw in ' I can't believe the child who used to insist on holding my hand when they had a poo is being so disrespectful '

Ace Grin

Actually, that's a good point. when DS told me I was embarrasing I'd take it as a challenge lol

ladybee28 · 01/07/2020 17:54

A blend of all the above, depending on the situation.

Also I find the concerned appeal to their better nature to be a good defuser in some situations:

"Wow, that was a mean thing to say. It's not like you to be nasty – are you OK?"

gandalf456 · 02/07/2020 22:30

Watching with interest. Some great tips there

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