Men giving teenagers beer - how to handle this?

[parentofteen]

DS went out with friends this week to our local park. There were some families there with small children, the men of the families were drinking beer.

DS and friends were playing football and the men offered them a match. They said if DS and friends won the match, they would give them a beer!

DS and friends won, were given a bottle of beer and shared it between three of them. They are thirteen years old!

I don't know how to handle this with DS. I haven't gone "mad" because I'm pleased he told me and want him to confide in me in future. But he is naive, I've told him (a) it's illegal for him to drink alcohol at his age and (b) he shouldn't be accepting drinks from strangers. I'm not sure it's really sunk in.

Would you add a punishment or any other conversations with DS? I wasn't expecting alcohol to become a factor for years and I'm so cross with these men.

Thanks.

Well it was extremely naive of your son and his friends to take a drink from strangers.

Even if it were closed....don't they know that not all friendly people have good intentions?

I would have a talk with him about strangers trying to inveigle their way into his favour with gifts like this....perverts possible.

These men were probably a bit pissed and thought it was fine...it really wasn't of course. But talk to your DS about the threat which men they don't know can represent.

As for your hope that alcohol would not be an issue for years...that was very naive of you! There will be kids in his class already drinking regularly.

My DD is 15 and from the age of 14 I've been dealing with her going to parties at her friend's houses and sometimes, the parents think it's ok to offer them all alcohol.

Three 13 year olds sharing a bottle of beer? I think you're overreacting. It's not good that they were given it by a random, but I honestly couldn't get worked up about this.

It's legal for a 5 year old to have an alcoholic drink at home in the UK. If you're uptight and make it a "forbidden fruit" thing he'll want to rebel against it. Just discuss sensible drinking and that he shouldn't and/or you'd prefer him not to until he's older for health reasons. Definitely no punishment - it's great that he told you.

www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/alcohol-and-the-law/the-law-on-alcohol-and-under-18s

And just to add...my DD attends a private school...there's no class when it comes to the issue of teens and drinking.

So be sure to educate your DS on alcohol, what it does to the body and what can happen when inhibitions are down.

@FortunesFave gives very good advice - better than mine

That law about 5 and up being allowed to drink alcohol should be changed immediately.

How old is that law? I bet it was placed back in Victorian England when everyone drank gin and beer because the water was filthy.

I’d be focusing on the stranger danger aspect too.

@FortunesFave what is your problem? I guess it's all the drunk 8 year olds that have been knocking you over when you walk down the street.

I would have more of a problem them not social distancing with adult strangers from mixed households, playing a contact sport with them, and the hygiene issues of sharing a beer during a pandemic than a mouthful of alcohol.

makeup no it's more the negligent parents who might think it funny to get a child pissed.

When you've worked in social care for a while, you see some terrible things. Believe me...people do that.

No harm was done, I really would let it go

Dear Parentofteen
I have and still am going through a lot with my DD and from good and sound advice from those supporting us , what I learned from them and what I've learned from experience this is my opinion.
Firstly it was great that he told you. Maybe don't worry about punishment now , first time and all that but talk to him , make it clear that it is too you g to start drinking and that there will be consequences for not sticking by your rules which are not intended to make life hard for him but to protect him. Use the word consequences not punishment. Yes of course there are loads this age drinking but it doesn't mean he can. I don't think any teen will wait until their 18 but towards late 16/. 17 would be an age where I could accept them dabbling, not 13.
You also have to drive home to NEVER accept drink from strangers. Someone above made an excellent point about early drinking not confined to class, a lot of parents in my experience think this is the case.
As someone else said don't make a huge issue but definitely let him know what your rules are and thank him for telling you.
Fortunesfave I have the same problem and it's extremely hard to keep a child at 15 on the straight and narrow when other parents allow groups of 14 and 15 year olds to drink in their home so it becomes normalised. My dds friend now see drink as an essential part of any social gathering. Best of luck but good he told you

Gosh no dont punish him. Just talk to him about making better choices. Tbf he was put in a pretty tricky position.