Hi ,
Things with my 16 year old son are getting worse and worse with every passing day.
He's quite manipulative , he uses words to hurt me.
He will not listen when I ask things of him ( which isn't much) .
He feels that he should be able to do what he wants when he wants and I should just deal with it .
In the past this was arguments over going out or staying out later than we had agreed to pick him up. He would just stay out or ignore the phone if I called waiting for him .
Asking why why why even when I have explained in the first place.
Now it is much worse where he will just leave and go not answering his phone and just coming back , ransacking the kitchen of food , alcohol in the fridge . To the point where I have put a solid lock on the door.
I have even put a lock on my bedroom door as money had been going missing from my purse .
He lies constantly , calls me pathetic and in the last few months has started swearing at me , he doesn't shout , he knows I suffer with a generalized anxiety disorder and picks on that .
I have also found out that he has been smoking pot and he says there's nothing wrong with it and I should get over myself.
He ignores every rule I put in place .
2 weeks ago it got so bad that I packed him a case and said he needed to go and live at my mum's empty house ( shes had a stroke and is living with my sister)
That was I knew he would be safe , but we could have distance for a while . He refused sat on his bed and said "I'm not going no where"
For a few days I kept my distance and ignored him . He helped round the house when my husband asked so I thought he must be softening but no after a couple of days he was back to being like this again .
He was like it through highschool too I was always putting out fires when a teacher had said something he took offence to.
I'm sorry this is all tumbling out in a disjointed way really but I'm at a loss of what to do.
I love my son and we were so close until he was about 10 but he has a real problem with any authority .
Even if I ask him something simple I get a snarky remark a laugh then he wanders off.
I have tried it all the calm talking and explaining , letting him have his say , compromise , the shouting exasperations , tough love , ignoring him nothing seems to work .
I hope I'm not alone in this , I feel totally useless and worthless with how he treats me .