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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

16 year old and emergency contraception

3 replies

Canileavenow · 20/06/2020 18:24

I have just found out by accident that my 16 year old DD took emergency contraception today. I was looking for the bike keys which she had had last, and found the box in her bag with the empty pill packet, together with a receipt. She is not here at the moment so I can't talk to her about it. She has seemed fine these past couple of days but this morning complained of a stomach ache and that she thought her (chronic) gastritis was coming back. I now suspect but don't know, that this was an excuse in case the pill made her feel ill. I just don't know how to handle this. I feel very hurt that she didn't tell me, but she has always been quite closed and secretive, and we have been trying to work through this together. I am also very worried that she may have picked up an std. I also feel quite angry that she took a risk, knowing the possibility of this, especially in view of the fact that she has not had the HPV vaccination either, having been off school at the time it was offered and with a needle phobia. I know some people will say if I had a better relationship with her she would open up to me but it has been my experience that for some individuals it simply isn't so. We are not especially strict parents and have encouraged her to meet her friends now lockdown is easing, but now I would feel very worried about what is happening whilst she is away. How would you handle it?

OP posts:
insancerre · 20/06/2020 18:26

I would be pleased she had the intelligence to get emergency contraception
I would ask her to make sure it didn’t happen again and encourage her to get proper contraception sorted out

Bagelsandbrie · 20/06/2020 18:27

I have a 17 year old dd and I actually wouldn’t say anything at all. At least she got herself sorted with some emergency contraception. That shows some initiative. I think really from 16 onwards you have to let them have their own privacy a bit, I know others won’t agree but to some extent you just have to trust you’ve done the best job you can and let them get on with things. I would however tell her she needs to get her jab done (I think you can have it retrospectively?) and at the same time you could have a good discussion about safe sex in general - but I’d leave it a few days so it’s not linked to this in her eyes.

LynetteScavo · 20/06/2020 20:14

I'd get the money she'd spent on it, hand it to her and tell her you want her to have it. I'd then tell her I think she's very mature and sensible and that I was very proud of her and that I love her a lot.

But I realise I have a special kind of parenting that wouldn't work with all DC.

Then I'd phone the GP to ask about getting the HPV vaccinator and tell her she really, really ought to have it.

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