AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaagh!

[noddyholder]

Ds has turned into a nightmare the last few months sulky moody typical teenager I suppose.I have been finding the 'no conversation' quite difficult as has dp as we had such a close relationship with him before.He has glimmers of his old self but mostly grunts and answers back atm.How long does this last Will he ever be nice again? One thing it ahs showed me is that if you don't have a great relationship with your other half when they reach this stage you are going to be f**d and very lonely!

Message withdrawn

How old is he, Noddy?

My own experience is that for the last 4 or 5 months before my ds's 13th birthday he was an absolute nightmare. Everything I said was twisted out of context and ended up in an argument and it always seemed to be me apologising as I can't be doing with sulking.

Weirdly, my ds did a sort of "reverse Kevin". As soon as he turned 13, he went back to being a rational human being (that was only 3 weeks ago, mind).

My theory is that they'll go through phases like we all do, and no matter how arsy they are being, as long as we keep our cool and keep the lines of communication open, they'll come out of that phase.

Unfortunately, I doubt that my ds is on the straight and narrow permanently, and no doubt he'll have another arsy phase sometime, but for the moment I'm enjoying the peace.

What's the problem with your dp? Do you find your ds winds him up because he's not his natural dad?

If there are still bad feelings over the split between you and his dad (I have no idea how recent that was), you might want to contact Relateen, an offshoot of Relate who are very good with teenagers who've been through a parental split.

Sorry, re reading your post, I think I may have got the wrong end of the stick re. your dp, so feel free to ignore that bit!!

Ds is 13 and dp is his natural dad!They have always been really close but ds rarely speaks to him now and won't let him 'in' iykwim.He is not 14 until next may so is 'just' a teenager .Weirdly enough dp and I are getting on better than ever thank god or I would really go mad.I think deep down we miss the other pre teenage version who liked doing things with us and was an absolute angel but I do think this is all preparation for letting him go one day .I think when he was little I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving now I am not so sure!!!We are off on holiday at half term so hoping we can at least re connect a bit (God that sounds so yuk!)

measure him! i bet he is having a growth spurt, the more they grow the more arsy they are, so long as he is active keep the carbs coming, i'm convinced it helps to keep moods under control!

then when you KNOW his belly is full and he his still being a little git you can wallop him without feeling too guilty!!!

I would like to wallop him for teh first time ever!

You may have to wait a while to get your real ds back noddy. The aliens have taken him in the night and left you with a replacement. The replacement will get hairier, more grunty and costs more to run than before. Life may be grim for a while but there will be good times too. Hang on to these.

You're real son will come back from the wilderness in around 5 years time.

I love him to bits so will hang on then and not wallop him!Hard when there is an argumrnt EVERY day atm in an otherwise row free zone!

I know just how you feel! ds2 is coming up to 13 and ds1 is nearly 14. They can be great sometimes but can be moody, argumentative and they also seem to hate each other. Dh works on the oil rigs for 2 weeks and is home for 2 and when he is away I sometimes feel like I am going demented. I work part time so at least I get some kind of adult conversation instead of being grunted at. Dh reckons hes got the easy life going offshore. Sometimes I wish I could go with him although I love them really. They used to be so sweet now I get my head bitten off and am ignored in the street.

noddy - classic piece of MN advice - 'pick your battles' otherwise everyday is just Aaaarrghh!!!.

If it ain't illegal, immoral or annoying the neighbours it might be worth letting it go. Save your strength.

Dizzydance, I had that ignored in the street thing as well! Kindly wandered down ds's school street a while agoto ask if he wanted a lift home, saw him with a gang of mates and he just grunted at me...

Noddy, hang in there, it can't last forever

Can it???

OMG this is so familiar... the worst time is when there's no way out, i.e. the school run.. I dread the drive with ds after I've dropped dd off 1st (at least she speaks, although I have different issues with her (another story). Is it a good idea to go along with the silence and not talk either (which is really hard) or will it backfire? the school runs with him are a NIGHTMARE

He is jekyll and hyde He has been lovely today and this evening but god knows what will happen tomorrow!He wants a new sweat shirt though that may explain the change of mood.Am biting my tongue 24/7

i totally agree with
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaagh!
bloody kids

grumpy dd 13 next week...............

hi noddy, my ds is 14 next month and sounds very similar, so pleased to hear only another 5 years to go before i get my 'nice' son back lol.

The huge surge of testosterone causes a chemical inbalance in the brain creating moods apparently.

So blaming them for their moods would be soooooooooo unfair lol

Ds has developed an aversion to water too and only showers if i start ww3!He doesn't seem to mind that I tell him girls like clean boys it falls on deaf ears and his feet are getting really stinky!

god noddy, dont mention what girls like to 13 yo boys, it makes them sweaty just thinking about 'what girls like'

just buy a load of lynx products, you'll know then when he has finished this particular 'stinky phase' when the smell of bo is replaced by the distinct whiff of 'eau de tarts parlour' and the rest of the family have streaming eyes when in close proximity!!

Oh it's good to know it's not just me!!

My DD is nearly 13 & the hormone hostage has taken over even though she hasn't started her periods yet they won't be long.

TBH I quite like the school run drive if it's quiet. I have the radio on & don't even try, she reads or if she's in a chatty mood she talks.

The BO despite daily showers clean clothes & anti-p is a bit depressing though!

Sympathies, Noddy! Have also had the AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!! thing too and am still getting it at times too. DS is 17. Sorry but dont hold your breath that it'll finish soon!!

My DS seems to have come out of the woods, having spent the last 4 years as an insufferable beast. He even says he doesn't recognise the person he was. We get flashes of the Mr Hyde, but generally (he's 17 now), he's realising what's what.
Luckily for us, he never went through the not washing phase, just straight into the 3 showers a day + Lynx!
As for car journeys, it used to be the only time we really communicated. Anyway, don't worry about the school run - he'll probably drop out of school soon! (Only joking!)