I have posted before about dd 18 and my worries about her. Don’t want to drip feed but don’t want my post to be really long she appears to struggle with low self esteem no idea why
She has had in the past arguments with female friends where she has felt excluded which Some of the examples are her being unreasonable but on the whole she has a good friendship group
At 16 she started a part time job and although she claimed to be just friends I know she got into a relationship with her slightly older trainer this period of her life was difficult and she self harmed and had counselling at school this was put to me as stress over exams and hormones obviously the school counsellor didn’t discuss it with me
Fast forward to now she moved away to university had the odd dramas over new friends but generally seemed happy met a lovely lad but she wasn’t interested fine
She has moved back dd talks ridiculously loud when she has her earphones and her room is next to mine in. the trainer has been back in contact it appears dd cheated on him and he seems to despite not seeing each and it being over 2 years ago is almost punishing her. Lots of talk from dd how she will never forgive herself and never love anyone else but has to accept just being friends he has now got bored and blocked her
Next one which again she mentioned chatting to as a friend but the conversation within days were that she was in love that fizzled out
Now to the latest again started chatting online she again has said just friends but this time is hinting at more my initial concern was he is transgender so physically still a girl but she has seemed so happy the last 2 weeks so great until this morning I walked into her room to check she was up for work and saw her self harm. She doesn’t know I saw her and tbh I didn’t mention it as it was tiny and she was about to go to work I will try and talk to her tonight
This is where I will get flamed and I feel terrible I read the last few pages of her diary to try and figure out what is going on. It implied all going well he’s amazing she’s so in love but needs to balance seeing her friends until today where she writes they argue everyday he makes her feel bad about herself then gets her to go round to resolve things and then treats her like a princess she admits he’s controlling and manipulative but not in the same way as trainer guy. Then she says she knows she could never break up with him so self harming is the only way
Help how to I try and help her when she won’t open up to me and make her see this isn’t right I don’t want to admit to reading the small amount of her diary as I don’t want her to lose that as an outlet
I thought it was odd last night she pulled up from work then drove off again but she said she went back to work as her friend was on a break then came back showered and said she was off out with friends- they park there cars in a line at a car park to social distance but 2 of them drove past I thought she may have ditched them to see her bf but am now concerned he is stopping her seeing her friends when I asked her and said it was odd she said she was with another friend and her phone had died so they drove past she has a charger in her car
What do I do or say I can’t stop her seeing him she’s 18