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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Worried about 12 year old ds

3 replies

Trainersmum · 08/06/2020 08:26

I've also posted in preteens but thought people with older dc might have some advice.

My 12 year old ds is getting very depressed during lockdown and feeling isolated. He's saying he's got no friends and no one likes him.

Bit of backstory. I've always worried about him a bit with friendships. Throughout primary school he never had friends round, a couple of play dates were never reciprocated. But he was always invited to lots of parties and had children to play with so I didn't think too much of it.

By year 6 he'd made good friends with another boy and they'd socialise outside school a lot. They went to different secondary schools but remained good friends. However it became apparent that this boy was being very spiteful to ds and acting very strangely being very obsessive and they eventually fell out.

Ds has gone to a secondary school where he didn't know many people, but he seemed to be making friends.

However he's now saying he wasn't and was just tagging onto other groups, he's saying no one will play online with him. The old primary school friend is also a constant online presence and seems to come between any mutual friends and 'latch on' to any friends ds does play with.

He's utterly miserable and I don't know how to help.

Before lockdown he was doing football, swimming, Scouts, Park run. But it's all stopped.

He's becoming more and more withdrawn. Any suggestions I make he gets angry with me. He's got little interest in doing anything other than watching YouTube.

OP posts:
Mo81 · 08/06/2020 09:51

If you believe he is depressed you could speak to your gp there are mental health services specifically for children . Can you get him out to do any excercise this is good for mental health.
Is there any kids near you that he could talk too.

Northernparent68 · 08/06/2020 11:03

He may make friends when he’s older, in the meantime take him for walks bike rides etc.

monkeyonthetable · 08/06/2020 11:06

I'm really sorry this is happening. It's so tough when it happens in normal times but during lockdown, it's even tougher.

Try and get him to join some online chat groups for special interest - minecraft or any subject he's interested in. DS had trouble making friends but found some fabulous friends online who he now sees irl. Obviously you have to vet this carefully and be around for the first few meet ups once lockdown lifts to ensure they are genuine. It's important he learns that school isn't the only source of friendship.

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