Daughter is so down.

[queenoftheknight]

My dd is 15.

She is depressed. She is unreachable.

She won’t speak or interact. Just blank. She stays in her room all the time.

She is year 11 going into sixth form, but has no idea whether she is in or not. No exams obviously, and she thinks that teachers will mark her down because they don’t like her.

I do feel that telling them whether they’re in or not is the very least they could do. There are no results to wait for.

Their lives were pulled from under them.

Other years have stuff to do online. They don’t.

Help. I am distraught at not being able to reach her. I miss her.

Have you spoken to her school?

Oh that's so sad

Are you in England? My ds is year 11 and he will still get GCSE results in the summer and from those he'll find out if he is goimg to get into sixth form

He has got a part time job in a coop

He's also looking into volunteering at a nearby animal park

Would she do anything like that ?

I'm feeling like this about ds2. He's a bit older. His gf is shielding and he's lost without her. His friends are sensible like him and aren't the sort to meet up in groups drinking in the park every day. He works very part time and thank god as it's the only thing getting him out.

I am shielding. I am immunosuppressed.

I will speak to the school.

She was volunteering in a charity shop, which closed on lockdown.

I understand that this is traumatic for them all. I just wish she would let me in a bit.

Can she talk to friends on snapchat facetime.
Alot off teenagers play online games with each other.
Can she go for a walk with a friend and stay isolated from you.
Teenagers friends can sometimes be more interesting to them than their parents.
Why does she think teachers don't like her was she getting in trouble at school or not doing homework if no she should not be worrying.
Has she got some GCSE from y10 and must know her predicted grades and it probably be based on that.
My dd1 is today tidying her wardrobe planning outfits for when she can go out more. Singing away and snap friends as she tidied. I'd say it's more snapping than tidying
During lockdown she did baking sign language typing tutor.
Watching Netflix,
She got some information for Alevel choices online and had a read at some of that.

She is chatting with friends. Her grades are forecast to be fine.

There are things on the school VLE to do. But she says she has anxiety and depression. She took herself to the doctors before lockdown, and got a referral to CAMHS. But refused to follow it up because she says that they just make things worse. She refuses private counselling.

I came in from a walk today. She didn’t know I had come in. She was laughing and chatting to someone on the phone and calling me “Witch Mother”.

It’s extremely painful.

That's just how teenagers talk I haven't heard mine do it but I'm sure they do when they don't get their own way.
They love us when they get what they want.

No solutions I have fairly chatty 16 year old DS year 11. He is relatively ok school are encouraging them to work on EPQ and he Xboxes most afternoons.
But I also have a 15 year old DD year 10 she is exactly the same communication wise extremely quiet and trying to have a conversation with her is like getting blood out of a stone. She stays in her room 90% of the day. But i am trying to encourage her to open up a little and spend some more time with us its not easy. I contacted school Monday and in the last three weeks she has really fallen behind with her school work. So we spoke about this yesterday which didn’t go down well. She got angry and ended up in tears. She also has a lot of hatred towards me and thinks I favour her brother at her expense. We had a fraught afternoon. I told her this wasnt true, I loved her and cared for her. I think she is depressed, worried and disillusioned. Today she has been nicer and slightly less quiet. Take care OP.

My dad had a bout of depression last year she was 16 and so the same age as your daughter now She did eventually go to counselling but it took a while to pursuance when. It did however work wonders. I dont know if you have come across the Teen Tips website there also on face book. They have given some great advice

It has come to some kind of head today.

I found a bag in her room packed with her passport, birth certificate, red baby record book, her EHIC, some money and a lace nighty.

I messaged some of her friends mums to see if their daughters knew anything.

My daughter is hanging around with some less than desirable lads.

A friend rang in response to my message and my DD overheard, so now she knows I know she was planning on running away.

It appears to be all my fault. Obviously. She says that I don’t believe that she had anxiety and depression. I have offered to find counselling for her. I have offered to go to the GP. I have spoken to the school. She rejects everything. Just saying that it’s my fault for not believing her.

I rang Parentline. This age group are causing the bulk of their calls right now, they said.

I am terrified. She will either run away or worse.

The vitriol and rage are cutting.

Last night she came into my room and asked me if I was ok. I said that apart from the pandemic, yes. She then launched at me, saying that I didn’t trust her enough to tell her how I was feeling and that I hated her.

It feels like abuse.

I feel gaslighted. It’s so twisty turny.

It’s horrible.

I am at my wits end.

I am so sorry. That must be so hard. It is quite hard to know what advice to offer at the moment. I have a 17 ye old who is in year 12 who really struggled at the beginning of sixth form. She is better now. I can really recommend the teen tips website with Alicia Drummond she does counselling for kids but also for parents to help them help there kids. I had one session with her and it massively helped it might be worth looking at that. For what it’s worth I don’t think your alone at the moment. She is probably scared as to what is happening to her future. As I said I would have a look at Teen tips