My 17 year old DS is gay, I found out rather than him come out to me, but once I knew, we talked a few times about it, he said he knew I'd never judge him and he knows he has my complete love and support regardless of his sexuality. He says he's always known. We're pretty close, however, he obviously found it excruciatingly hard to talk about it, he's very sensitive and shy, and he swore me to secrecy, doesn't want his father (my ex) to know, his SF or his siblings. He says it's his right to keep it to himself until he chooses otherwise, and I respect that and haven't told a soul. That aspect has been v hard for me, but that's another story. He says just one of his school friends knows and that he can talk to him about it (though I suspect he doesn't as he's not a great talker) so that just leaves me. I said to him at the time that I would check in with him from time to time about it, and see that he's ok as I think it's a lot to be carrying on his own (please don't shoot me down for saying that) but other than that we don't really talk about it. He's due to start university and I want to support him in the best way possible, perhaps to ask him how he is going to navigate his sexuality once he's living in what will hopefully be a much broader and more accepting community than school. It breaks my heart when I hear someone unwittingly saying something to him about girls, gay jokes etc, but he's so quiet that I have no idea if it bothers him or not. Should I leave him to get on with it, or is it ok to raise it with him and ask him if he feels he'll be able to be more open once he's away from home? I hate the thought of him having to live a lie at uni, I want him to be happy and feel that he can really be himself. The fact that he so vehemently doesn't want anyone to know suggests that he's struggling, or feeling that he'll be judged. I really would appreciate your advice but please be kind and constructive