Teen not eating - what do you do?

[SoTiredNeedHoliday]

Since lockdown DS 16 is hardly eating at all, nothing yesterday, spoonfuls other days. I don't think it is related to a weight issue I think it is him having 'control' but he is now very very thin and I am really worried about him.

I ask him often if I can make anything for him to eat and generally the response is no. I always make his meal at mealtimes too but he hardly eats it these days.
I make food I know he likes and give it to him even when he has said no 10% of the time he eats it and the rest of the time just leaves it.

What should I do?

Sorry, no direct experience of this.Have you had a discussion with him about it? can he articulate why his eating patterns have changed? It may be time to call the GP for advice. It's a very unsettling time for teens - normality has gone out of the window.

I’d contact the GP if he’s eating that little. Even if it’s not a weight issue could it be another mental health issue such as fear of food or germs?

Has anything else been happening isn’t for him (obviously the pandemic) that might be related?

Do you eat together?
Would it be easier to monitor if you or his dad sat and had breakfast, lunch and dinner with him.
Go back to making food and sitting while he eats it?

So if this is an ongoing issue then you probably need to get some help and advice from the gp especially as you said he's visably lost weight. What was his eating like before lockdown?

My Ds eats very little, even less in lockdown. He's only eaten about 3 cooked meals since March. He's autistic though so has had eating issues prior to lockdown. He has a very low bmi but we do manage to get a bowl of cereal and a sandwich in him most days, so it's better than nothing.

Your Ds's energy levels must be low if he's not eating anything some days. Is he year 11? It's so difficult for them without any direction at the moment. I would definitely contact the gp if this continues. He will become quite unwell if he's not eating at all.

Over the last few weeks dd is eating less and less. Like you i think this is a control issue. I think she's lost so much - GCSEs, prom, holiday etc - that this is her way of gaining control over something. I'm treading very carefully and hoping that after lockdown things will return to normal.

My dd was diagnosed with anorexia two years ago at the age of 14. She started to leave food and lost weight. It was all tied up with control issues. We were unsure what to do but thank god we took her to the GP who referred us to a specialist and it went on from there. Please take him to be checked as the earlier it is seen to the better. Sorry I don't mean to frighten you but stopping eating like that is serious.

NCTDN I think that is exactly how this has started for us and I keep hoping that it will change. Yesterday he ate a whole bowl of pasta, which was unbelievable and fab.
apricotdreams that is my fear that it is a control issue that will become a habit and then an eating issue. I am watching with close eyes and will call for advice.
justforthecake we do try and eat together, but at 16 understandably he doesn't really want to be with his parents.
Thanks all v. helpful

Any improvement OP?

I would talk to the GP and see what they suggest, I’m sorry it’s very worrying for you all. DS1 was similar when he was around 13. We eventually found out that he was scared of being sick and thought if he didn’t eat this wouldn’t happen. He did get better, but had to decide himself to eat. We spoke to him a lot at the time about how eating and being healthy and strong would protect him from germs. He’s 16 now and has been fine for a couple of years.

NCTDN some improvement but it is good days and bad days at the moment. more good than bad for the last week which is a positive step

Sotired that is a positive, I hope it continues. My Ds weighed himself last week, he's lost over a stone in lockdown! Both he and I were shocked, I knew he'd lost a bit but was still surprised. I'm now trying to encourage more eating as it's taken him to below the 1st centile on the bmi chart.

Op how is your ds now?