Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Move schools??

5 replies

MamaiBear · 27/05/2020 18:43

My son (14) is weak socially and as a result he has become the punchbag of his year. He has no friends and is isolated - when we try help with his social skills he seems to get it and agrees where he’s going wrong which can then bring slagging upon himself (no excuse for the shits doing it!!) recently he has started being attacked physically, items stolen, won’t pass ball to him in sport etc.

He’s outgoing, enthusiastic, optimistic, very resilient and would love a group of pals. The school he is in now is strong academically and he is doing all higher level subjects, has strong teachers and is doing well academically. The all boys catholic school he is in has tried to help where they can but they can’t make boys be friends with him - they punish any boys who hit/steal/verbally attack him yet it continues - as it is not a small few lads doing it there are many of them so always someone next in line to take over!

I applied to the local non denominational mixed school where my son has said he would like to go. This is a new school with no proven track record as yet. Reports coming out of the school are good, parents and kids seem happy. Based on the issues my son is having the principal has offered him a spot in second year - he’s be repeating second year in the new school.

This school is an eclectic mix of kids, more innovative/less traditional, mixed sex, more for the square pegs. I’ve heard it’s more accepting, inclusive, willing to support those with extra needs socially or otherwise.

Would you make the move?? It would be a leap of faith as the issues could follow him if he’s the root cause. The school could prove weaker academically but this could be his chance of finding friends and happiness.

Also with Covid - next year may be mostly at home. Would we be better staying in the current school for third year and try move him in fourth year?

He wants to move, doesn’t mind the extra year in school - he was willing to travel 40 mins by bus to another school if it meant leaving the current one so I know he’s serious about moving.

We are continuously working on his social skills and he feels it’s a reputation thing holding him back and that the lads in the current school won’t give him the opportunity to show he’s matured so he wants a clean slate

I’m torn, help!!

OP posts:
Punxsutawney · 27/05/2020 18:58

I would make the move. My Ds is in year 11 at an all boys state grammar and it's just been an absolutely awful 5 years for him. I thought about moving him in year 8 but the school promised us that they would try harder to make things better for him, they didn't. He was referred for assessment for autism in year 9 and diagnosed in year 11. I really regret not moving him as he's had such horrible experiences there. I kept thinking things would improve but they never did. He now has significant mental health difficulties and is incredibly anxious about anything school related.

If your Ds wants to move it's a no brainer really, I would move him in a shot. His happiness is the most important thing. Is there a particular reason though that he would have to repeat a year at the new school?

Ifeelfat · 27/05/2020 18:59

“He wants to move” - don’t be torn, there’s your answer.

MamaiBear · 27/05/2020 19:12

He would have to repeat as second year is mid cycle so would be very difficult to integrate. With Covid he has been off school for 2.5 months and he is quite young in his year and immature on top of that myself and my husband agree with this. My son isn’t bothered repeating either

Thanks for replies

OP posts:
Andi2020 · 27/05/2020 21:27

I moved my dd and she has never been happier.
It was her choice to move but she knew people at new school which made it a bit easier but also made loads off new friends
She moved at age 15.
Yes I will agree her grades are lower at new school but her happiness is more important
Give your son the choice.
Education is not everything
Happiness is

mudpiemaker · 27/05/2020 21:33

I always said to my sons "the only way out is through" meaning secondary can be difficult but with the situation you describe I would move him in a heartbeat.

I absolutely hated my secondary school (Catholic so no choice) I didn't go to school on some days, just couldn't go in. Didn't have friends who lived near me due to the catchment being so huge, it was miserable. Dh had a great secondary school experience. I was determined that my own children wouldn't have to endure it if it ever got bad.

Don't underestimate how this can eat at your self esteem, definitely move him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread