2 DS don't speak to each other- normal?

[papaoscar1208]

As the title states, really. If they do it is literally for 1 min or very sarcastically. Good boys generally- aged 19 and 15 I have no problems with either. Please tell me it will get better!

Sometimes it doesn't. I never spoke to my sister growing up and even now we are in our 30s we still don't speak only when at our parents house at the same time. No reason for it we've just never got on.

Can you sit them both down and explain that you want them to get on and build a relationship and ask them how can they do this? A shared interest is often the way forward. However sibling rivalry often has its roots in jealousy around parental attention/favouritism

Honestly that’s better than the continuous arguing that I have to contend with. I don’t believe there’s a normal when it comes to siblings but I am jealous when people say that their kids are best friends.

My younger sister & I have a similar age gap & I more or less ignored her for most of our childhood. We didn’t start to get on until I’d gone to university, I think because then we weren’t stuck in the same house.

Now we’re really close, go to stay with each other & even go on holiday together. It just had to be when we were both ready.

I'd be upset if that had been my two girls, they're the same age difference as yours. We always thought that there would come a time when they didn't get on as well. 12 and 16 or 14 and 18, seemed likely that they wouldn't have as much in common, but it never happened. They're 27 an 23 now, speak everyday and as close as ever. They're totally different to each other though, chalk and cheese as my mum says. Maybe that helps them get on?

Mine are a little older but the same. They were close when younger and haven't fallen out, but just never spend any time talking or being with each other. I get on well with both of them and find it upsetting.

Thanks all for your views. Thinking about it...I didn't get on with my younger sister until in my 20's. I was more academic and think she was a bit jealous. She was the more spirited one and because of that people loved her. Describes my 2 exactly, so maybe time repeating itself?!

Cosytoaster- this is my position exactly and feel the same way.

My older two were the same when they were around this age, I found it really sad as they’d been super close and great friends growing up.

When my eldest moved out they almost became no contact unless were both at mine for social occasions.

This has all changed over the last 6/9 months, they have worked together and game online together on a really old game they played when they were 10/12 and are now really close again so it can improve.

I think from the age of around 13 onwards I never spoke to my brother except if I absolutely had to and even then t was as few words as possible. I still only speak to him if we are both at a family gathering and it is necessary. I do not like him.

My brother and I are my much closet in age than your two, but we fought a lot as children and we're not close as adults. He's a nice person, but we have very different personalities and interests. We both have a good relationship with our parents, a lovely family of our own and lots of friends. A poor sibling relationship isn't the end of the world OP.

Cosytoaster- this is my position exactly and feel the same way.

I think what made the difference for us was that there was no pressure to be anything except polite to each other. We became close in our own time. If we’d been pushed to ‘build a relationship’ or even, heaven forbid, stuck sharing a room, I think it would have taken a lot longer.

I have 2 sons 19 & 20... With absolutely nothing to say to each other, couldn’t be more different if they tried! They’re not arguing, and they don’t seem to dislike each other just absolutely nothing in common .. a shame, but nothing we can do really

My two eldest don’t speak. They have loathed each other since their teens.

My sister is 15 years older. Never have been close.. she was like a distant aunt. She died recently and I actually felt nothing. I'd seen her 4 times in 25 years. No falling out...just absolutely nothing in common.
My adult dcs aren't close.

My two DS are 20 and 18 and barely speak to each other. They don't hate each other but have nothing in common. It would be nice if they were closer but it's not going to happen.

I am like this with my brother. We are civil but don't really speak, maybe 2/3 times a year. We are just very different people and have nothing in common