Teen and hygiene

[bestsquirrelinthewholehole]

As the title suggests, I have a teen boy whom I am at my wits end with. He is 13 and if I didn't ask (nag) him he would stay in the same clothes for weeks, potentially months. He is also not interested in general hygiene, eg brushing teeth, washing face to bathing/showering. It's a real struggle to get him to see the importance of personal hygiene. He doesn't see the point or why I care, he doesn't care if he smells so why should I?
Please tell me this is normal teen behavior and he'll grow out of it?? Or should I be concerned he is maybe depressed?? Like Google suggests!!

I can only go on my own experience of having teenaged sons and stinking brothers in the past, but I would take no nonsense and run the bath/shower and threaten to stand over him to make sure he uses the soap. They all try this on, so far as I can see. Miserable but it does pass.

And again, I can only go on my experience but my neither my sons nor my stinking brothers were depressed, just lazy.

It was always part of my D.C. routine to wash so that just continued as they got older tbh. I never had to tell them to wash, that was just and expected part of the day. You mention depression, not washing can be a sign, but equally some people are just happy to be dirty, are there any other indications of depression?

I’ve got teenage boys - I feel your pain. The older one smells quite quickly so it’s not up for discussion - shower every 2nd day in the winter and can’t forget deodorant after the shower and every day in summer. And he must shower after any sport. If he starts to play up then I take all his devices away. There’s no way I’m living in a house with smelly boys - I shower so they should too. These have been the rules for years and he sometimes still tried to push his luck but I don’t take any crap and I’m proper tough love about it

Thanks ladies, he is generally a challenging in his behaviour, up and down in moods but I think in this instance he is probably just being lazy. Thank you for confirming that it is all normal and that I need to continue just asking nicely.... Ahem nagging!!

Teen hygiene is an oxymoron.

i dont think bad hygine is a symptom of depression in itself..

just tell him that he shouldnt be surprised when flies drop dead ...... that did the trick for me

Depressingly normal. Most likely thing to have any effect at all is continuous reinforcement along the lines of "girls will smell you and stay away" (non-girls are also available depending on preference).

And for god's sake don't let him use Lynx spray - your whole house will suddenly stink of teenage boy covered in Lynx. It's the worst.

Oh the aerosols are a death smell!!! Who knew they could kill!! From downstairs!!!!

My eldest (16) has a problem - he won't go in the shower. If i don't physically hurl towels at him he wouldn't have more than one per week, which i truly find atrocious. I shouldn't have to be nagging him to do such a basic thing but i need something to say to him if he doesn't shower. I'm not sure whether it's mere teenage laziness or something deeper but either way. Fellow mums i need your help! Is it good to tell him that i will throw water at him if he doesn't wash? I don't want to be known as a smelly, pongy family. Thank you ladies, kisses mwah

@karenmiriam I truly feel your pain, this is literally my boy, although mine is at a younger age, he would go a week probably more if I didn't nag, and moan. He doesn't care. He wears the same three clothing items day in day out. I honestly wonder how often he changes his underwear..... If at all!!! Mostly cloths that end up in the wash are clothes I have washed, folded and placed in his room to put away, which he in turn throws on the floor, the. Tidies them away in the wash bin.... So I don't truly know if underwear is changed daily. I do doubt it tbh honest. Gross!
How is your teens mood? Friends? Is he introvert?

Wow, same here. I don't understand how they can do that, mine genuinely won't even flush the toilet after doing his business and then smells, so i doubt if he even washes his hands! He generally keeps himself to himself but has a small but close group of friends. What about yours?

Op I feel your pain. I think 13 is a tough age for boys. Ds will shower but quite happily wears the same clothes for days on end. Deodorant is a complete no no as is washing his face with anything more than water. I've bought so many different face washes to try and encourage him but even with spots he won't try them Luckily he doesn't yet smell but no idea how to get over the deodorant issue.

He doesn't wash his face either, like @NCTDN no matter how many washes I buy. Hand washing has gotten a bit better since Covid, but I still don't think he has grasped the enormity of that. He is being assessed for ADHD possible asd so whether that has something to do with it. @karenmiriam he has a small circle of "friends" I say that because in reality he probably has one or two friends and only really one who he talks about. The Others could be the other side of the earth for all he cares! Lol

Not quite as bad as this. But I have this with Ds2. No interest. Dh and Ds1 take supreme interest in clothes and personal hygenie. They both always smell lovely.

I prompt. But I'm worried why it doesn't come naturally, why it's not intrinsic.

How do you make someone care?

My DS was "allergic" to showers until he started dating.

I have 4 sons and all but one have gone through this. It is definitely a teenage thing with boys. It seems very normal at this age, and they do grow out of it.
Only one of my boys never went through this, he showered frequently and changed his clothes 3/4 times a day. Others never cared what clothes they wore.

@Oblomov20 I'd love to know how you make them care. DS doesn't bother doing anything with his hair either.
I hope pp is right and it's a phase they grow out of.

Agree, can't wait until the day he wakes up and suddenly cares lol