I'm hoping someone can suggest a miracle to resolve this...
Husband and I divorced 2 years ago, he refuses all contact with me; kids are now 17 and 15. They live 'free-range' between both of us and no maintenance is paid. Typically 17 y/o lives with him more of the time and 15 y/o with me. I have new partner who doesn't have children and tries very hard with mine, he gets on well with 17 y/o (girl) but they 15 y/o (boy) is very up and down with him. Sometimes ok, sometimes downright rude. I have pulled him up on this but it doesn't resolve.
Since lockdown I've continued to work (NHS). Kids are at my house as 17 y/o has fallen out with her father over trivial matters. Neither of them have done any school work, I'm not home in day time due to work, their dad doesn't make them work and it's not my partners place to enforce school work and this would be detrimental to their existing relationship, particularly with 15 y/o.
I'm at my wits end. The 17 y/o berated me this morning for being loud on a work call (I woke her up). She's refusing to go back to school. The 15 y/o was banging around in the kitchen past 11pm last night and rude as anything when I told him to stop. This is just the past 24 hrs, I could go on.....
I'm really torn, they are my responsibility yes but I cannot babysit them as they approach adulthood. I'm at the point of telling them to live with their dad full times they are so incredibly stressful. But I don't want them to feel rejected. I love them dearly but I don't seem to be able to improve the situation. My partner stays out of it (as I want him to) but he is acutely aware of how stressed and unhappy they are making me. He would dearly love a child of our own but with my 2 they way they are at present I cannot see how we could cope with this.
I'd love to speak to ex husband to explain how things are but he refuses to engage - I've texted this morning to ask if we can agree a way forward about the 17 y/o's school refusal and he has just ignored me........ I need an intervention!!!