Apathy in teenagers

[Starlightstarbright1]

I find my Ds so frustrating in his apathy about everything. Every once in a while I get so fed up and he Buck’s his ideas up .

I realise we are not in normal times but this isn’t a result of lockdown - he has no passion for anything except x box .

How do parents / cope deal with this ?

I was drinking and smoking when I was 13 so maybe I am expecting too much . I want him to just enjoy his life have passion for something

This sounds like my DSD who is almost 15.

Absolutely no get up and go. Doesn’t want to participate in anything. Doesn’t want to converse apart from yes, no, don’t know, can’t remember. Won’t help our round the house. Doesn’t want to cook or learn to cook. I could go on......

She got up at 11am the other day, told her to get herself some breakfast (the rest of the family had eaten breakfast together at 8:30am), she couldn’t be bothered.

She has no hobbies, no interest in anything apart being glued to her phone.

I’ve wondered if she’s suffering depression, but her own parents say it’s normal teenage behaviour. I don’t think it is, but what can I do?

At her age I had a Saturday job, was doing my Duke of Edinburgh award, was out with my mates whenever I could be.

I’ve had to mentally remove myself from her as I find her attitude and behaviour so frustrating TBH.

Sorry..... I don’t have any advice but you aren’t alone.

Same sort of thing here with DS, 15. It's always a bit of a struggle but now it's magnified by all being home together.

His only real hobby or activity is running, and even that he enjoys mainly in a club or parkrun type setting so has barely moved from the settee for weeks. (Which he will regret when he gets back to school and PE GCSE) He will in conversation agree that it would do him good to go for a run, or generally engage a bit more, but it never happens.

Not much advice here either except to say he was once a fairly sparky, hilarious child and very occasionally we get glimpses of that still, and I'm sure that person will emerge again after this phase.

For us also we always get feedback from school, running club and others about how lovely he is, and that helps a lot when he's not lovely (and he's not horrible, he's just not ANYTHING) at home. Just at the moment we're getting the apathetic home version all the time.

The other thing DH and I constantly mutter to each other is to remember that he's not us. We were both very different teenagers to this but had our own problems and attitudes, some of which were better, but some worse than he has now.

Yes I was a nightmare teenager, I am not sure I want him the same issues I had but he has had a very difficult life . Umyes I was working by 13 and I know the world is different .

After my rant this morning - he has worked hard on his school work- fine something really nice and thoughtful. I am sure we will be back in the same place in in a few days but it’s a break.