16 - yr old 'curfew' times?

[Schmedz]

Interested to know what time during the week people are happy to let their 16-yr olds be out?

Mine tells me her 'curfew' is far too early and all her friends are allowed out until midnight/1am and she is missing out on being invited places because 'everyone' is allowed out that late.

I'm not comfortable with that time during the week (unless it was the occasional party). Trying to get an idea of whether I am actually unreasonable in the time we have previously agreed.

Thanks!

Where do you live? I'm amazed any 16 year olds are out socialising at the moment.

SW London. We are talking times after lockdown but apparently some friends are out at these times even in lockdown meeting their ‘one person outside the household’

1am on a school night?! Sounds like horse shit to me.

This is 10 years ago, but i had to be home by 5 or 6ish on a school night (homework, dinner, family time) and no weekend curfew - home whenever whatever i was doing finished. I just had to keep them updated and be honest about where I was and who I was with.

At 16 DS had to be in at 10 on a school night, 11 at the weekend and later by negotiation

My 16 yo dd is not really one for going out, we live in London and occasionally on a weekend she might go into town shopping etc with a friend. She would have to be home by 22.00.

12/1am is fine at the weekends. Mine didn't have a curfew when they were 16 but if they went out through the week 11 is about the latest they came home.

We've always had "when it gets dark" as the rule when they are hanging out, outside. If they are at a friend's house it's generally 9.30pm. Though if he asked for later I consider it at a weekend. I'd be ok with midnight/1am for the occasional weekend party, but not during the week.

DD is 16. Absolute latest would be 10 for weekdays and 11 for weekends.

At that age 9 on weekdays a bit later if he wasn't at a party at the weekend, 1pm if he was. But we would be collecting him from the party. Lockdown has given me back so much sleep!

As long as I know where they're staying that night they dont have a time. 99% of the time they're back before 10pm

Thank you for your responses! I’ve always asked for honest info on where she is going and when she expects to be home (if it’s anytime before the ‘curfew’). I do the same when I go out so it is clear it’s about mutual respect (I thought!).
Seems a weekday curfew of 9 is on the ‘early side’ but midnight for parties is quite standard. I know how long she takes to get ready for bed and how many hours sleep teens need to be healthy so 9 is actually quite late in that context!!!

Happy to read any other numbers from fellow parents...

My 15 year old has to be in by 8.30pm on school nights and in bed by 9.30, lights out at 10. Weekends he has to be in by 9pm unless he is actually doing something other than hanging around. If he was at a party we just collect him when it finishes be it 11pm or 2am. I can’t see much changing when he turns 16 at the end of the year. Possibly bed by 10 on a school night and lights out by 10.30.

My 16 year old didn't really go out on weeknights so not had that issue but parties are weekend we have allowed to 1 am but that's because I know where he is and we pick him up wouldn't want him hanging around streets until then

Considering you're thinking for after lockdown I'd hear in mind that a weeknight and school night are different things. Once lockdown is over this is essentially her post GCSE summer and there is no distinction between weeknights and weekends nights for them, they just want to see their friends. So I'd set a consistent curfew (with negotiation for special events like parties) on the condition that on weeknights she does not disturb anyone in the house already in bed (assuming you all work regular mon-fri jobs). If she does disturb people multiple times (one mistake is allowed) then this can be re-evaluated and revoked to earlier but if you start with early it will feel to her like you're being controlling for no reason.

Mine had no curfews at 16. But during the week they rarely went out, so the odd time they were out wasn’t an issue. If our daughter was out any time after 10 pm, she either had to have a ride home or call to be picked up-no public transit alone. She thought this was discriminatory and it was, but sexual assaults are not uncommon in our city’s transportation.

^on our city’s public transportation.

My ds has recently turned 17 and is in year 12. He isn’t one for going out for the sake of it and tends to go to parties, for meals, boys nights in types of things ( pre lockdown ) and he has no curfew.

Most of his friends are the same. They’re a good bunch of kids and parents are normally on an unofficial rots if they need picking up at 2/3 am from their friends as their friendship group is quite scattered.

I think that self regulating works if they are sensible. At his age I was drinking in clubs in town and getting up to all kinds. Ds is always honest about where he’s going and stays in touch with me. I treat him like an adult and he behaves like one.

They don’t tend to just hang around outside for the sake of it, I wouldn’t be happy if they did. The ones that do that tend to be the ones who cause trouble.
So at someones house at the weekend, a party, cinema etc, there’s no curfew really. Weekdays they tend not to go out much but if they do they’re probably home by 9pm. I’ve never really had to set a time, they’re just sensible and I’m hoping that doesn’t change. They know to send me a text to let me know they’re ok.

1am as a regular thing on a weekday if they’re at school/college, I’d say no. As a one off yes but there’s no way they’d get enough sleep if that was a regular thing. Also they couldn’t keep up with school/college work if they were out every night until that time.

Nothing good happens after midnight. The very latest a 16 year old should be home is 11pm.