Son wants a smart watch

[Rocsand03]

Ds 14 has bagged for months about getting a smart watch. I’m not a fan of someone his age getting something so expensive ln their wrist. What would you do? He keeps saying he has his own account it’s his money to do whatever he wants. It is his money and he really never spends money other than these online payments for computer games. I keep trying to get him to understand the importance of earning and saving. He won’t help around the place - only very rare occasions. Do I let him go ahead and spend his money? He said he’s found a cheaper one

I've just got a smart watch. I got mine through my vodafone contract. I pay £25 up front then £20 a month after that. I have no idea what the total cost is. Mine is a samsung one.
If it's his mo eyes he should be more likely to take care of it and I personally would warn him that if he does break it you ain't paying for a new one.

mo eyes = money

Context re money?

He has £200 and wants to spend it all on a watch? No

He has £1000 and wants to spend £150 on a watch? Fine

Something in between? Maybe

How does he get money?

By doing chores. He gets an allowance but grannies give him money too themselves. Any extra he has to earn. It’s not an amount I’m willing to let him spend no matter what the gadgets on it

Well then there is not much point in your post. You have already decided you won't let him spend his own money.

Why bother asking for opinions if you've already made your mind up. I feel you are being a tad controlling over how he spends his own money.
What would you do if the grandparents bought it instead?

Depends what smart watch he wants for a start. I'm a huge fan of Apple watches but there's no way my kids are having them until they're a lot older. But a £150 Fitbit or similar? I wouldn't have a problem with them spending their money on that.

I'd worry about him getting mugged for it.

If it's his money he can spend it on what he wants.

If you don't want him to spend it on what he wants, you need to stop giving him so much money.

you're not willing
It’s his money, why are MN mums so
bloody controlling?
What do you expect him to spend on? He’s 14 these are the things they want. My DD14 spends £100 on trainers, I think that’s mad but it’s her money.

Oh for goodness sake OP. It is his money he should be able to do what he chooses with it. Too controlling, he's 14 not 4.

I don’t mean I have actually decided on anything. I only asked for opinions on what others would do. It is a large amount, however when I said I’m not going to let him spend a large amount I mean I don’t want him spending it all just off the money that’s already in the bank when there’s not much anyway. I feel he needs to learn to manage his money more that’s all. Yes it’s his money and there’s not a lot of controlling I can do so I wouldn’t want to keep it from him. I’m simply trying to get ideas how others have earned/managed their money so I can help him understand the process of earning saving and managing money.

His money- if he loses it/something happens he will have learnt the valuable lesson of looking after expensive things. Never too young to learn this IMO and if something does happen to it then it will be more of a stinger as he has spent his own money on it

BitofFun - that is exactly what I said to my husband!

Also similarly to above- if he spends all the money he has on it, this disappointment he will feel when the novelty has worn off and he has no money left will also teach him about money management and why it’s better to wait until you can comfortably afford something then to splurge every penny you’ve got

This is him learning to manage, he’s saved up, decided what to buy and if it means he’s little left, he’ll need to save again.

You're teaching him absolutely nothing.

First, making mistakes is how he learns. He buys the watch and regrets the waste? Great, he learned. He doesn't regret it? Maybe it was worth it to him.

People who live in a house have chores. They don't earn money for them because that's not how life works. Chores are the price of being in a family.

I also give an allowance, separately. That's not dependent on anything because I want her to learn to save and spend. She earns extra in different ways.

I don’t mean I have actually decided on anything. I only asked for opinions on what others would do

It’s not an amount I’m willing to let him spend no matter what the gadgets on it

Clear as mud OP.

Sorry I thought this was a forum for parents to support a and advise each other. I’m not after criticism. I imagine everyone he their way to parent their own kids. I simply asked how others do things, not do you think I’m failing at parenting. Maybe I’m not getting the money thing right so I thought I could come in and get my thoughts cleared up. I teach him rather a lot, and always have. If I feel the need to give him support I will do that. He does do all the things teenagers do, sometimes fails at it sometimes doesn’t. That’s life after all.

You are getting advice, just not what you want, not everyone is going to say oh you’re right!

I don’t want anyone to say I’m right or wrong. I’m trying to find out ways in which people help their teenagers earn/save/manage their money. I asked if I should allow my son to spend his money which was obviously the wrong thing to start off saying as obviously it’s all his money. I’m not looking for anyone to reassure me I’m right

I bought a cheap (compared to most) one recently for myself and am very happy with it. Maybe compromise and let him get a cheaper one. My 11 year old has a £20 fitness band that notifies him if he has a call or a message but he mainly uses it for the fitness things.

He surely should be allowed to buy something he has saved for? That is exactly what you want him to do. If he’s been begging for months then it clearly isn’t an impulse purchase, it is something he genuinely wants. I’d advise him to do proper research - which one is best, why that one, where is the cheapest place to get it. Do NOT advise him to get a cheaper one he’s not that keen on. If you’re in to tech / gadgets it’s better to save up, make sure you are really sure that’s the one you want and (if you do it right) you get years of enjoyment out of it.

If he never really spends money they you don’t need to worry about him being a spendthrift.

I don’t want anyone to say I’m right or wrong.

OK positive advice. Let him spend his money how he pleases (well, not meth or vodka). Make chores a requirement of living in the house, not for money. Give an allowance but NEVER lend him an advance on it or give more when he runs out. He manages it completely. At 14 he can earn more if he wants to. Chores for neighbours or a small job/business are fine. But chores in the house aren't linked to money. Let him make mistakes. Big ones teach better than small ones.

And yes, let him buy the watch.

Ways I help my teens earn/save/manage their money?

The oldest has just turned 16. If we weren't in a lockdown he would be looking for a part time job (some of his friends e.g. work in restaurants).
It's pretty much impossible for someone under 16 to get a job round here, so this hasn't been an issue before.

They do get money for "exceptional" jobs e.g. DS got paid for painting the garage. There tend not to be too many of these so they've not been able to earn a lot thus far. They don't get money for doing "normal" jobs round the house as responsibility for those is just part of being a person who lives in this house.

I gave them a choice of getting an allowance each month or money as and when. DD chose an allowance; DS wanted money as and when. I'll probably move him over to the allowance model soon. The allowance is for "luxuries" - so clothes and toiletries over and above the basic items I provide and it also covers going out and buying presents for friends. I've carefully set the value of the allowance so they have enough but not money to splurge. If they had enough for a large item it would show that they had carefully saved for it, so I would certainly let them buy it!