Dd is nearly 13 and hasn't seen her dad since she was around 7 or 8. He has always been useless and was never consistent with seeing dd and constantly let her down. For example arranging to see her then not showing up, say he was due to arrive at 10am he would text after that time to say he's not coming or not make contact atall until I chased him.
Or arriving hours later than the planned time. He was never realible and does not contribute to dd's life financially unless the csa manage to get some money out of his wages before he quits his job again and works cash in hand to avoid paying maintenance.
He emailed me last week asking how dd was I replied and said she is fine. He said he would like to build bridges which I ignored as I honestly do not want to put dd through it all again and set her up to be let down again.
I set dd up on Instagram so she could join in school challenges etc and he requested to follow her.
I have dd's Instagram on my phone so I deleted the request and emailed him saying it is not a good idea to add her on social media considering he has not seen her for many years.
He replied and asked what should he do as he wants to do things right 🤔
I know he has nothing positive to bring to dd's life. He will let her down again and I don't want to make that decision to put her through it all again, she is just becoming a teenager and I'm not sure if now is a good time.
I honestly don't know what to say back.
Any responsibile adult should understand that contacting a child is not the way to go about it as she does not make the decisions here.
Sending one line emails to me also isn't going to cut it.
In the past I had to stop him having dd alone as he did not seem capable of looking after her and was manipulative towards her. I said he could still see her but at my house, he came to see her twice (although he art aged to see her many many times) then never bothered again and said because he didn't want to see me.
I also know he had a girlfriend at that time and honestly it has seemed over the years that he is way more interested in dd when he doesn't have a girlfriend as when he is seeing someone he let's dd down even more.
He has not tried to see her since and now he's in lockdown and lonely it seems he wants contact.
I don't know what to do about it all I just want to protect my dd as that is my job and I don't see why I should put her through this hurt again as it is not necessary.