Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

What do you think of this saga ...

24 replies

mrsmike · 17/09/2007 10:49

DS2 (13) comes home, says am I allowed a BB gun, I say, hmmmm, will think about it. Naively think this is end of story for the time being [gullible]. 10 mins later, go out to dustbin, and he is leaning out of bedroom window shooting at his brother with BB gun . Turns out he had bought it at local market - don't think they are supposed to sell them to under 14s either. So now he is in trouble because he pretended he didn't have one, plus more trouble for shooting at his brother. So gun confiscated - put it in my handbag. This morning discovered he has taken it out of my bag! This is the bit that is making me most angry. Normally he is no problems & nice, am thinking times might be a changin' ...what do people think?

OP posts:

tissy · 17/09/2007 10:55

Where do you live, MrsMike?- would a (pre-arranged) visit from the Police help? I would ask them to say that a neighbour had reported an illegal discharge of a firearm.

If he cannot understand that shooting at another person (or living thing) is a no-no, then absolutely no gun under any circumstances, until he leaves home and gets his own place, would be my approach.

Saturn74 · 17/09/2007 10:57

His ass would be grounded until he was about 35.

Original poster

mrsmike · 17/09/2007 10:58

Gosh, never thought this thing was a firearm, does it count as one? It shoots little plastic beads though obviously could do loads of damage. Also I feel like reporting the market stall who sells them to kids.

OP posts:

Wisteria · 17/09/2007 11:00

Yes I would agree that times are a changin'! The problem is, that like all teens, the more something is forbidden the more it becomes attractive. Was it older DS he was aiming at?
What about taking him to lessons (is he too young for a shooting range?). The attitude, learning to shoot a gun is not a bad thing if in proper environment but shooting out of the window is dangerous and unacceptable, might be better received.

The BB gun thing is trendy at the mo - as it was when my little bro was about your ds's age. My Dad did call the police for a 'little chat' with him and it worked a treat.

AbRoller · 17/09/2007 11:02

absolutely agree with Tissy.

Does it look like a real gun? As far as I know, though I could be very wrong, it is still an offence to carry a 'imitation' gun.

Original poster

mrsmike · 17/09/2007 11:05

Yes he was aiming at ds1 who is 15 and fairly rubbing his hands together in glee at younger brother at last getting in to trouble Plus later investigation revealed that ds1 had "told" him to shoot at him. So all is not quite straightforward...

OP posts:

Original poster

mrsmike · 17/09/2007 11:07

What is bothering me most about all this is that he took it out of my handbag after it had been confiscated - feels like the biggest betrayal of trust.

OP posts:

Saturn74 · 17/09/2007 11:08

Hmm... but the bit where he bought it without your permission, then sneaked it out of your handbag after you had confiscated it, seems fairly straightforward?

Saturn74 · 17/09/2007 11:08

x-post

tissy · 17/09/2007 11:09

info here

evilreturns · 17/09/2007 11:10

take it back and throw it away.

Freckle · 17/09/2007 11:10

I can relate to this, although on a slightly different note.

DS1 (13) went into town yesterday to buy something. When he came home, he told me that he'd found a £10 on the ground. This morning, I go to my purse to get out lunch money for him and DS2 only to discover that a £10 note (which I know for a fact was there yesterday) was missing. Now do I put 2 and 2 together and come up with the obvious or do I believe his protestations that he found the money???

Carmenere · 17/09/2007 11:10

A friend of dss as a 'joke' tried to rob a fellow schoolmate of his mobile phone using a bb gun and went to prison as the other kid was terrified. He didn't know it was a fake and dss had previous for cannabis possesion so he got a 18mnth sentance as they were having a crackdown on gun crime.

tissy · 17/09/2007 11:10

note the second paragraph "safety"

Carmenere · 17/09/2007 11:11

Sorry dss's friend had previous that should say

tissy · 17/09/2007 11:12

freckle - I would make him hand the £10 in to the Police- having already primed them that you suspect he nicked it from your purse!

Where's custy, her advice on teenage boys is usually fantastic1

Wisteria · 17/09/2007 11:14

My dd does this although not with bb guns.
The 'can I do this?' question, when followed by a yes it's 'oh good 'cos I've done it already'.

She lies brazenly about the little things - like this morning on way back from drs

Me: I thought I told you not to wear any mascara (she has an abscess on her eyelid)

DD1: I haven't

Me: Don't lie, I can see it.........
(on and on you get the picture)

He has been deceitful to you so that needs addressing IMO, I would be furious if one of mine did that - taking something out of your bag is stealing really. If it were me, I would ground for a week because of the deceit and confiscate gun as he is not being responsible with it and shouldn't have it anyway.

Freckle · 17/09/2007 11:20

I had to "borrow" the £10 from him for lunch money as I had nothing to give the boys!

Actually, I know that he took it from my purse and he knows that I know. I will be speaking to him tonight, but he's grounded for 2 weeks and will have to use his pocket money for lunch money this week. He's already having to buy himself another pair of school shorts as he brought his PE kit home on Friday with the shorts missing, so he's going to be well out of pocket by the end of the week.

Freckle · 17/09/2007 11:23

Oh I should add to the OP, there was a young thug near us who had a BB gun. He shot at DS2 once, but, as he didn't hit him, I didn't do anything about it. About a week later, I had two (rather young but very sweet ) police officers on my doorstep asking about this boy. The boy had the same surname as us, so the police were trying to track him down. Turned out that he'd been shooting at other people, who had complained.

The police took it very seriously and, in the end, I think the lad was arrested and charged. He was 11.

Original poster

mrsmike · 17/09/2007 11:40

I have horrible feeling the gun will not reappear - he'll have "lost" it by the time I see him after school tonight. Trying to maintain feeling v angry with him, as we won't see each other till 6pm and things sort of fade throughout the day! I feel a definite grounding/no pocket money coming on though ...

OP posts:

Original poster

mrsmike · 17/09/2007 16:08

Any more advice with my problem ... what do I do if gun has become "lost" during the day?

OP posts:

Tortington · 17/09/2007 16:28

snap the gun - stamp on the gun break the bleedin gun.

and remind him that he can be arrested for anti social behaviour at aged 13 wehreupon the polie will take his finger prints leave him in a cell and dna swab him before giving him a warning.

then cut the plug off the ps2...reason?.... " your stupidity"

Tortington · 17/09/2007 16:28

and stealing and lying
and going in your bag.

WendyWeber · 17/09/2007 17:51

airgun incidents

Flip