Home alone at night

[fairgame84]

What age did you leave your teenager at night?

DS is 15, very sensible, no friends as he has autism (high functioning).
My parents were staying with him while I did night shifts but have said they can't stay anymore as they are scared of getting coronavirus from me. I'm a frontline nurse and I've managed to swap all nights until june but I've got night shifts again from 13th june.

My plan was to knock on the neighbour and let them know DS is alone in case they hear anything like the smoke alarm as we are semi detached.
I have a pet cam in the living room but I can access remotely and listen in as well as see.
DS has a mobile phone that he can call me on.

I would leave at 7.30pm and be home at 8.30am. DS leaves for school at 7.30am. He can put himself to bed and get up for school with no issues but obviously that's irrelevant right now.

I will try and swap as many nights as I can but I might not be able to get rid of all of them.
I'm in 2 minds whether to leave him or not so any advice is appreciated.

All your suggestions are sensible. It boils down to whether your DS is comfortable with being on his own. Is it possible for you to ask for a one-off half shift so that you get back during the night to see how he coped?

The main thing is to set out plans in case something unexpected happens and he panics. How friendly are your neighbours?

Neighbours are fab, really friendly and supportive on both sides and opposite.

I am doing some twilight shifts which finish at midnight and I have no issues leaving him for those. It's just the full night that I am struggling with.

I worry about fire or burglars etc. We have a dog who would bark if somebody came to the house.

My neighbours would message or call me if there was a problem.

What did you do pre lockdown?

I think as long as your DS feels comfortable with it then it's fine!

If you needed to, how easily/quickly could you get home?

What did you do pre lockdown?
My mum stayed at my house overnight.

If you needed to, how easily/quickly could you get home?
Work is a 5 minute drive from home. I could pop home in an emergency.

I think it's fine as long as he's happy with it. I think we really underestimate kids today.

It's more about capability than age, although current circumstances are forcing people into things they wouldn't ordinarily do.

My DS is 17 (also autistic) and I couldn't leave him alone at night even now. He has a lack of awareness of his surroundings and would stay up all night, eat all the food and not notice if the house was on fire.

I'm autistic and my mum left me from age 14 and I loved it. I coped just fine and made sure everything was done and switched off before I went to bed. I relied heavily on my routine back then so her being out didn't change what I did.

He's pretty much rule driven. He sticks to his bedtime. He wouldn't be up all night and he definitely wouldn't leave the house.
If the smoke alarm went off he would go and knock on next door.

I'm not sure, in normal circumstance I would. But things have changed, options are limited and you know your ds best.

Other things you could consider - could he move in with your mum for a while? You could call/visit and stand outside the door.

Or can your mum and dad stay at yours and you move into theirs?

No my parents live 50 miles away so it's too far for work for me and DS can't move I their because he wouldn't cope living somewhere else due to his autism. My dad is also in his 70s so they won't have any contact with me and DS due to the risk of coronavirus.

Regardless of what you decide to do, please regularly remind your 15 year old son that there is a camera you can remotely access when he's home alone if you're turning it on.

I think it’s fine as long as your ds is happy about it. The fact you have neighbours that he can go to if any problems would make me feel better about it aswell.

This doesn’t sound problematic OP. He’ll be fine. I’d be wary about leaning a 15 year old party animal overnight, but not your son.