Sad at outburst from 13yr old son

[Slysmart]

My 13yr old son 'lost the plot' tonight after becoming angry with newly bought headphones not working properly when gaming with his friends. Following lots of banging and swearing, I went upstairs to investigate. He kind of lost the plot when he thought I was recording him on my phone, he shouted directly at me 'you can't do that you stupid f#!king bitch'. He was so verbally angry and abusive it shook me to the core. He has anger issues on occasion caused by online gaming but usually understands when to walk away and do something else. It was horrible this evening, so incredibly upsetting it has really affected me.
My question is- how should I punish this behaviour - would confiscation of Xbox AND Mobile be a good idea for a set period of time? I've taken away these before about 2 weeks ago when he has a similar outburst but returned them after 24hrs. Should I make it a week this time to show him I mean business? Help and advice needed!!

Obsessively gaming does seem to have a terrible effect on behaviour. Irritable, angry etc. I'd be putting them away for a long long time. That said, we're in a stressful situation so you'd need to have something to fill the gap.

Your 13 year old called you a stupid fucking bitch? That's horrendous.

The gaming is no excuse for his behaviour but it is obviously not a healthy pastime for him if it exacerbates his anger issues.

So get rid of the Xbox permanently, for his own good, for your own good, and to make it very very clear to your son that misogynistic abuse directed at you or anyone else is entirely unacceptable and has serious consequences.

Don't get rid of the xbox.

Do stop his online access. It's online games against other twatty humans that exacerbates his anger, single player games just don't do that.

My 13yr old son 'lost the plot' tonight after becoming angry with newly bought headphones not working properly when gaming with his friends.

He has anger issues on occasion caused by online gaming

The gaming is the trigger so it goes for that reason alone. But also his disrespect to you needs punished so the gaming goes for a second reason.

My son had similar outbursts aged 12 all related to playing fortnight so I took the PlayStation away altogether. That was 3 years ago and we’ve never had an outburst like it since then. You will not believe the change in personality once he is no longer obsessed with gaming.

Seriously OP do your son and your family a massive favour and take it away permanently.

I find your post a bit weird, all about you and how to punish. That’s not the behaviour of a happy ok person, I’d start with wondering what’s caused it and go from there

Nip in in the bud now before you loose all control of your son. The older he gets the worse it will get if you don’t. He needs to know who’s boss your his parent. It’s absolutely disgusting the way he spoke to you!! What ever you do don’t use that sort of Language back as that will only show him that you don’t respect him either. You need time with him alone doing something you both enjoy he needs you.

I would take the gaming away for at least 2 weeks and don’t give in,children need direction and discipline in the right way,he will Thank you for it when he’s an adult.

I wish you luck teenager years are very hard I have a boy the same age.

Hang on, what were you doing for him to believe you were recording him?

Obviously his behaviour is very wrong but how did he think that?

I recall a poster on here a couple of years ago. Her son did something similar, so she took everything off him and threw it out of the window.

Mine talks like this I’m afraid to say. Yes gaming makes it worse but taking it away doesn’t help as it provokes massive upset, especially now when it’s a lifeline to social life. If it’s unusual for him could you try serious talk & a reasonable consequence, with a discussion about how it got to that point?

I would ban it for a set period and let him no in no uncertain terms that it will keep happening if he acts out this way again - next time for longer! That’s what I had to do, not such extreme behavior but certainly not good. He knows I’m not kiddding..!

Cutting off all means he has to socialise with friends right now isn’t a good idea. No , he should not have spoken to you like that, but it’s his only outlet to ‘outside’ at the moment.
Talk to him, make him understand how it made you feel, but trapping a teenager without just about the only thing he’s got to take his mind off things in a house is unlikely to make him feel better.

Rather than banning it for a set period I would look to limit his daily time on it for a longer period as I think that will address the root cause more effectively.

Also, you need to talk to him about how it made you feel. This bit is important.

Unfortunately for some people gaming is not merely a healthy hobby- it can trigger brain activity which results in anger and outbursts like you've seen in your son, and honestly your best course of action is to help him find non gaming hobbies/pastime .