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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Vaping - what to do

11 replies

TrulyOutrageousJem · 27/04/2020 11:08

My teenager is 16 and 17 in a few months. During the lockdown she has been a nightmare, moody, lazy, argumentative but I have tried to keep my cool and not argue with her as we are locked in together with nowhere to cool down. She has a part time job in retail but has been furloughed for a few weeks now. This has given her a few hundred pounds every month to spend as she likes. She has had a number of parcels delivered but today when I picked her latest one up in the porch I noticed the packaging and it is from a vape company. I have confronted her and told her how disappointed I am in her smoking. I have confiscated the vapes but I really feel like this is closing the barn door once the horse has bolted as she is most likely already addicted.

What on earth do I do next? I want to remain firm but also don't want the next few weeks to be hell as her moods really do cast a shadow on the rest of the family.

OP posts:
carriebreadshaw · 27/04/2020 12:46

She's probably smoking cigarettes and has tried to switch to vapes during lockdown.. in my opinion it's her money that she has earned and as long as she's in her room doing it it's not affecting the rest of the house like tobacco would.

I don't think it's the time to be challenging her but let her know there will be a conversation after lockdown.

It's like anything right now - I'm drinking a bit more than I should, eating a bit more than I should. It's no time to be cutting down on crutches

Original poster
TrulyOutrageousJem · 27/04/2020 13:29

@carriebreadshaw

I'm almost certain she hasn't been smoking as she hates the smell of cigarette smoke. She can't even walk behind somebody who is smoking.

I do feel like I need to be firmer than just letting this go as it is illegal to vape under the age of 18. I am 100% anti-smoking so this has hit harder than anything else she has done. I just feel so utterly disappointed in her and want to get this across but am very conscious we are in close confines.

OP posts:
carriebreadshaw · 27/04/2020 13:33

If she's started in lockdown it's a bit easier to say no but I don't feel that now is the time given the pressure of the situation

NelliePig · 27/04/2020 13:36

Its illegal to buy it under 18. I dont think it's illegal to use them... however shes obviously broken the law by buying them originally.
If I'm honest I'd let her carry on, at 16/17 shes old enough to make her own decisions and in a year to wont be able to stop her anyway. I wouldnt see the point in causing an argument and bad feeling over it as after lockdown she will continue anyway out of the house or going back to real cigarettes if that's what she was smoking.

BigusBumus · 27/04/2020 14:07

I hate it too, but at the moment i am more concerned about my teens mental health and just being happy. I dont think causing a massive row about things that you really cant control would help anybody when youre all shut it together. The chances are she's been doing it for a while anyway, she really wouldn't just start now in the absence of peer pressure. At her age she has to learn to make the right choices and even though this one is probably not a good choice, its HER choice.

She's not 7. Don't confiscate her things, give it to her and tell her it makes you unhappy but in the end you will trust her to do the right thing.

Elieza · 27/04/2020 14:20

Are you sure they are for her? Perhaps she’s bought them for a friend or something?

Fleetheart · 30/04/2020 23:55

I hate vaping and smoking but my 16 year old now does both. I have not opposed them on the basis That when my parents forbade things I just did them more. I am hoping he grows out of them. But time will tell..

Dixywitch19 · 01/05/2020 00:03

Did the package have nicotine inside? Not everyone who vapes has nicotine. My husband doesn’t have any in his and it’s just the habit of ‘smoking’ it he needs to kick now.
Try speak to her first see if she’s smoking it for the nicotine or because she thinks it’s ‘in’ like a lot of young people atm

teenanswers · 07/05/2020 23:37

Hello! i am 17 and i appreciate that an actual teenager writing the teenager forum is unorthodox, but if i may, i may have valuable insight...

please just have an honest heart to heart with her. i appreciate how distressing and upsetting this situation is, but clearly there is an underlying issue that has caused this, whether that be peer pressure, experimentation, trying to deal with stress... try and get to the root cause, then you can address it appropriately.

Speaking from experience, i got caught up with smoking whilst i was in year 9/10, mainly peer pressure, luckily i didn't get too addicted, however a e-cig could be a potential positive to ween your child of nicotine, however that is for a medical professional to decide.

Good Luck Smile

Original poster
TrulyOutrageousJem · 13/05/2020 13:08

@teenanswers

Thanks, I did speak to her. The actual conversation wasn't as volatile as I'd imagined it was going to be. I asked why she would buy a vape and to give me a really strong reason why I should give it back to her. She was then the one to say that I should bin it as it would take the opportunity away from her. She isn't addicted, doesn't smoke nicotine, and was doing it as she was bored and thought it looked cool.

I am glad that I did speak with her and that I didn't just let this one go. As a parent of a teen I do know you have to pick your battles and I'm pretty relaxed about most things but smoking is a huge deal to me as we have lost close family due to it.

OP posts:
WeAllHaveWings · 14/05/2020 06:41

Good result Truly, well handled.

I am convinced long term vaping will be found to be a health issue in the future and would strongly discourage ds if he thought about giving it a go.

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