Worried about ds

[OnTheMoors]

He is 13. Always been an early waker but since lockdown he won't go to sleep and has been sleeping late. We've reached a new low today. He hasn't showered in 2 days and still has not showered today, despite being asked repeatedly. He has also torn his pyjama shorts deliberately. Ripped on both sides where the leg hem is . Just strange ?

I don't think it's unusual for them to sleep late and refuse to shower at this age, especially when they're dealing with lockdown.

I don't know if it's the right thing to do but we've started withdrawing WiFi if they don't shower.

Can you tell us a bit more about him ripping his clothes though?

I don't think a teenager refusing to shower and sleeping in is particularly unusual although I guess if it a complete change in character it may be more of a worry. Boys this age can be really hormonal. Are there are behaviours alongside the ripped clothing that are concerning?

It's just one pair of pyjama shorts . He thinks it "looks cool" . I think he's just giving up with the lockdown. No friends /sport etc. Same thing day after day. He came downstairs earlier and said "don't draw the curtains it's still light! " Then told me to get out of the room and pushed me hard . he's gone back to his room now.
He's got ADHD and was doing so well with his sport and settled at school. All he wants to do is watch you tube and play football with me twice a day.

That's unpleasant for you that he pushed you. He needs to know that although he is frustrated at the situation that is unacceptable behaviour.

My Ds has autism and I do think those young people that are neurodiverse are quite likely going to struggle with the change of routine. Although Ds is very isolated anyway so lockdown is pretty normal for him!

You are allowed out more than once or to drive a short distance to exercise if you think it might help him. Do they use any particular stratagies at school to help him concentrate and learn?

He isn't at school. Home and school are separate for him. He works with a learning support assistant in most lessons. It's also a fact paced day, moving classrooms every hour

My Ds is the same, he finds it very difficult to do school work at home. I'm just wondering if the Senco could help give you some advice and ideas of what could help. Have the school been making contact with you to see how things are?

If he has an EHCP then you may be able to get him into school for a few hours a week. Unfortunately though that would be different to normal and there probably not be learning support assistants and staff that he is familiar with.

My teens are older than your DS, and out of education, but they are struggling with the lockdown, some days are better than others, but very up & down in their mood generally. We are just letting them do as they please at the moment. It’s such a strange time for us all. I hope your DS is ok and has a better day today.

Don’t worry. My son is struggling as is my daughter. Routine our of each and they’re not going to sleep until about 4am!!! They’ve only just got up today as I let them lie in as they were so tired. My friend said his sleep is the same so it’s not just kids, we’re all struggling with lack of routine.

I apologise for typos, stupid phone. That should have said their routine is out so they’re not going to sleep until 4am. They just aren’t tired and it’s all over the place sleep wise.

Try not to worry. We’re just letting our children do what they can with school work and sleep when they can. It’s such a weird situation for them.