I've never posted here before but I really need some advice.
My DD age 11 has been quite chunky for quite a long time but nothing to worry about. I am very interested in nutrition so we talk all the time about healthy choices, hidden sugars and how important good nutrition, plenty of fresh air, lots of movement, hydration and good sleep are for health. As she has gone into y6 at school I have been increasingly concerned about her eating sweets all time time after school (she walks home and I'm not back from work so this arrangement works well from a childcare POV) with all her skinny friends. They all chow down on junk and she joins in, she has been gaining weight but not hugely and she has just started her periods and boobs are growing so I know this is all normal. However I have been trying to ensure that I give her healthy food wherever possible. She got weighed as part of the school programme and I had a letter saying she was overweight. Part of the problem is that my ex won't cook and on his weekends he just takes her to macdonalds and Greggs and feeds her pizza and chocolate. I have talked to him but we don't get on and he just hangs up the phone or walks off if he doesn't want to hear what I'm saying.
Anyway I have had a really rough time over the last year as I split with my ex (angry man, verbally abusive, drinks too much, takes coke) but he won't move out and I can't. (And yes we are now trapped in the same house during lockdown). The result of this has been me making terrible food choices and also drinking too much to self soothe. I think my daughter is falling into the same bad habits - I feel terrible about this.
I had noticed in the past sweet treats going missing and my DD always denied taking them so I assumed it was my ex.
I have started a vlcd and I'm not drinking and feeling much better for it. However I have bulk ordered food packs (shakes, soups and bars). Yesterday I realised almost all of my bars have gone missing.
We had a chat and I realised she's eaten over 20 bars plus her Easter eggs and some other chocolate I had hidden and it's all gone in just over a week.
She lied and lied and then finally admitted and she feels really bad about it. I have literally no idea what to do now. I told her not to worry and we'll sort this out together.
I know she is anxious about loads of things (lockdown, puberty, the divorce, big school in September) but I am horrified to think how much junk she has eaten. I have been preparing the DDs lovely healthy meals throughout lockdown and had no idea she was binging like this. DD1 age 15 is tall and slim and blonde and graceful which won't help DD2 who is kind of awkward and ginger and clumsy (and adorable).
I haven't bought anything unhealthy for 3 weeks but exDH works at a supermarket and is a law unto himself so I can't keep things out of the house.
I am at a total loss.
I thought things were bad enough with the ex still here and a whole world of sh*t around him and the split but now my lovely DD is obviously having problems and I don't know how to help her...