Hi
Name changed in case people recognise me irl and by extension, recognise my son.
He is very depressed. It's come on quite rapidly. I recognise the signs as I have suffered from depression all my life. He's always had mood swings but this seems really pernicious.
He is autistic (very high functioning - most of his friends don't even know, though it exhausts him to mask socially and he has high levels of social anxiety.) Because of the autism, he does have very black and white thinking, and I've read that CBT which helps me a lot - is much less helpful to autistic people. I have tried doing some basic CBT with him, and coaxed him outside for some gentle exercise in the sun this morning.
I just don't know how to help. He does have a number of physical and mental issues which will always be with him and he quite understandably hates them but turns that on himself and hates himself for having them. He has a brother with no health or mental issues.. He compares himself very unfavourably with his brother and that makes him feel even worse.
Normally, I'd take him out and distract him by doing stuff he loves, just to give him a short break from the feelings. But we are stuck at home. He still hasn't bloody heard from the uni he most wants to go to. He's missing his friends, school, being out and about in London which he adores. I know everyone is, but he is tearful and aggressively down on every single aspect of himself - saying he hates himself, loathes every aspect of his looks (he's gorgeous and lots of people say so but in his eyes he is short (he is shorter than average) fat (he carries a tiny bit of weight around his waist) and has a physical disability (he has but it's mild and I doubt many people notice.) He feels he is stupid (he's very bright.)
My own depression was due to a difficult childhood with a very vicious mentally ill father. I have made it top priority in my own life to protect my DC from my own depression. I've always taken medication so they don't suffer violent outbursts. screaming and crying and have never had to be my carer or be the emotional parent to me as I was for my own parents. They have had a very stable, calm and very loving childhood. No rows, no disruptions. Lots of affection and laughter, attention, support. I am privately gutted for him that despite this, the family illness has managed to pass down to him. I am deeply worried for him in the future.
I really don't want him to start adult life on medication. It made me a fat docile half wit for years and I want to try and help him through every other means first.
Has anyone been through this? Does anyone have any advice of any sort - especially if your teen has Asperger-style ASD? (I know we're not meant to use that term any more but autism is such a broad term it's too vague.) I'd especially love to hear from parents who are making progress with this during lockdown, and of course, I'd love to hear from any Aspergic teens who are struggling as to what they find helpful and what really isn't helpful in terms of support from their family.
Sorry this is long. Needed to get it off my chest. I have a lump in my throat thinking about him. He is so sad and hard on himself right now.