Pre teen/teen bed time

[Dcm74]

Hi
Can I please ask the age of your children and what their bedtimes are? Also do they stay up later on weekends?

16 and 14. As it’s holidays, we all go to bed at 12 but I let them go on their phone since it’s the holidays after this time. Do you mean during school weeks?

My 13 year old goes to bed at 10 on a school night and roughly midnight on non school nights

Well it's a bit out the window right now! My 13 year old goes to bed at 10pm usually and all devices taken from him at 9pm.

Right now it's about 10.45pm ish

Usually:
10yo 8.30
12yo 9
14yo 9.30/10

Currently about half an hour / an hour later than that (as no school).

I see no need for a bedtime rn tbh with no school. As long as they do the online homework set, it doesn’t matter when they do it.

Thanks for those answers. Long time argument with my partner (don't live with him) as he believes our kids should all go to bed around 9pm on school nights and weekends. I have bedtimes for school nights (9-10 pm) but let them stay up late on weekends. They are 15, 12 and 8 and his is 14. He thinks I'm wrong.

What's it got to do with him, what you choose to do with your own children? Have some faith in your parenting abilities and decisions and if they don't chime with his, so what?

It’s really none of his business what you choose to do with your children, in your home! I’d make it clear I want him to keep his nose out of my affairs unless he’s giving constructive advice (and then leaving it well alone when/if you don’t necessarily choose to abide by it).

I personally think 8pm is about right for an 8 year old. 9.30 for 12 year old and 11pm for 15. That’s provided they don’t faff about for ages and stay up way later than the designated bedtime. But if what you’re doing is working for your children then why change it? Unless it’s not working...in which case I’d take bedtime back by half an hour to an hour. Good sleep and plenty of it is very important for growing children and teenagers.

Weekends I’d personally say 11 for the two younger ones, and 15 year old can please him/herself as long as it doesn’t mess with the normal sleep schedule during the week.

Oh meant to change to 10pm for 12 year old.

I think that’s roughly what I did for my two girls when they were growing up. They were also allowed to read for an hour or so once they’d gone to bed.

I’m surprised people saying there’s no bedtime set as it’s the holidays.

It’s not the holidays and kids should be working.

@NorthernSpirit
Yes it is - the Easter holidays have just started smh

I think parents are well within their rights to decide how to approach bedtimes with their children during lockdown, tbh. It’s not as if children can’t still get work done and learn even if they’ve been up later than they ordinarily would have been - they don’t have to get up early, they don’t have to rush to be anywhere and it’s not as if there aren’t hours and hours in the day to be filled now that no one has anywhere to be.

If I still had children/teenagers the rules would definitely be a bit more relaxed under lockdown conditions...just like I’m - shock horror - allowing myself a Prosecco brunch in the week from time to time, or sharing a late afternoon beer with my DH. My daughters would both have been perfectly capable of working hard at school work regardless of having been up a bit later and chilling out for the morning in their pyjamas, for example.

11 year old - 9pm on a school night , 9.30/10 at weekends and school hols. We're fortunate with him that he's good at sleeping in so doesn't lose the hour.

16 year old - left to own devices. When at school he was in bed by 10.30. Weekends midnight ish. Again a good sleeper so not worried about him losing sleep

@NorthernSpirit
Waiting for a reply

Waiting for a reply

I'm not even Northern and I think that's a wankerish comment.

@MrsTerryPratchett well she said it’s not holidays, when it is

Hi
We are on Easter holidays at the moment and it's not to do with lockdown.

When we got together 7 years ago our children were aged between 1 and 10. We spend weeknights apart and Friday and Saturday nights all together.

When the children were younger they all
went to bed earlier due to their ages. Now that they range 8-15 they stay up later.

My partner is early to bed and early to rise while I'm a night owl. Now that the kids are up later we don't get as much "us" time since he wants to go to bed earlier than the children.

I see it as part of being a parent but he thinks kids should have a routine and go to bed (early) no matter whether it is school night/lockdown/weekends. I'm made to feel like I'm parenting wrong, or causing damage to our relationship because I let the kids stay up late on weekends. That's why I was wondering if other parents let their kids stay up later on weekends like I do, or if I am the odd one.

I do understand his point somewhat considering if we only spend two nights together and he goes to bed before the kids, then we don't get much time together. He feels since he basically comes to my house, hangs with me for a bit before going to sleep twice a week then our relationship is becoming pointless. And unlike married couples who get seven nights a week, we only get two, but again isn't it just part of having teenagers?

It is the holidays but m my children are still being set work. Mine are 13 and 11. They both go to bed around 9 if it's a week night. Weekends they don't really have a bedtime but usually go up around 10 to 10:30.
All parents have to deal with less time together as their children get older. That's life I'm afraid.

12 year old - we aim for 9 but can be later in the holidays / weekends. No later than 10 though as that's when we go to bed

This week who knows when they actually go to sleep. I go to sleep way before them.

In term time (when they are actually going to school) I like dd1 15 to be going to sleep by 10.30 and dd2 12 to be going to sleep by 10.

Now even when they have school work during the day I’m pretty sure they’re still awake into the early hours. I’m not going to stay awake to police them, as I have to get up for work each day. I wake them before I go as their school work starts at 8.30 and if they’re tired they can deal with it.

13 year old going about midnight in lockdown! normally it's 11 at weekend and 10 on school nights. Wifi goes off when we go to bed so she usually goes soon after that.