Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

I need a rant

4 replies

Tubbs20 · 01/04/2020 17:14

Hi, new to the board but been reading some of these teenager posts for a while and it’s good to know (sort of) that I’m not alone in my frustrations!
I’ve got a 15yo DS who is generally pretty good but knows how to push his luck. I get that things are very different at the moment and to be fair he is getting his schoolwork done with no nagging from us. But that’s all he’s doing. No exercise as he’s not walking to school, not interested in finding any other activity but continues to shove food down him and just wants to play an online computer games with his cousin which gets very noisy when Dh and I are trying to wfh. We ask him to be quiet or stop and he just gives back chat about it not mattering as we weren’t on the phone 😡 He won’t get dressed all day and doesn’t understand that we feel it’s important for him to maintain some level of self respect during the lockdown as he says he doesn’t care what he looks like or need a shower every day as he’s not seeing anyone.
His attitude and rudeness has been bad this week so last night Dh changed passwords for computer and we took his phone off him for the night. Ds very unhappy about the computer thing although Dh was using it for work anyway this morning. Ds then seemed to come round to some of the things we had been saying and said he would do the Joe Wicks thing at lunchtime and dare I say he seemed to enjoy it. He seemed to be happier and we were all getting on nicely again. Dh goes out for his daily exercise so ds thinks he’s clear to play on computer because he’d been “good for a couple of hours” and done what he wanted even tho we had said it would last til the weekend or longer if he didn’t buck his ideas up. So now another argument with me trying to tell him to take the punishment rather than risk it lasting longer but because he can’t play right now and it’s vitally important that he does so today blah blah blah the shit has hit the fan 😫 I can’t believe he’s being that stupid!!! He even has the nerve to tell me it’s our fault as we should left him alone to do what he wanted 😳
I just don’t know how to get through to him that he needs to take some responsibility for himself and his actions. He’s borderline overweight already and really worry that it’s only going to get worse if he doesn’t balance out what he’s eating. He has a pretty good diet in terms of fruit and veg but a wickedly sweet tooth.
I feel sad and miss him as we were incredibly close and he always wanted to do things together until the dreaded teen years hit and now feel like I either annoy him all the time unless he wants something 😢
Thanks for getting this far if you’ve managed it! Just needed to get it off my chest.

OP posts:
kilisibird · 01/04/2020 17:19

Choose your battles. It's hard for them too. I don't know why getting dressed is connected to self respect, none of us have worn clothes for 2 weeks now. If you are concerned about his sweet tooth cut down on sugar snack availability.

Aramox · 01/04/2020 20:23

Sounds like self protection. Mine is exactly the same. Crap food, won’t dress, basic school work, no help in house. If we all get through this alive that’s about all we can hope for.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 01/04/2020 20:30

I can’t remember the last time my DD wore clothes. When I do manage to get her to have a bath I have to swipe her PJs so she puts clean ones on.

Agree with the others, I’d pick your battles.

Tubbs20 · 01/04/2020 21:47

Thanks all. I managed to get ds out for a walk and we had a chat about what’s been happening this week. He just about managed to see where we’re coming from and that we only nag him on certain things because we care and want to do our best by him. Anyway will see how it goes.
Dh is really struggling with it, takes it all very personally which with teenagers I feel you have to remember they just need an outlet and because they know we love them they feel safe letting us be that outlet. It is really hard a lot of the time not to take it personally though so guess we just have to sit tight and ride out these few years the best we can. I’ve read a really good book a couple of times over the last two years called The Best of Boys by Claire Gillman. It gives really good explanations on how boys feel about things and why they behave this way and helps to appreciate that the behaviour is pretty standard x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page