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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

HELP! Teen has broken self isolation 😡

49 replies

Bennypeny · 22/03/2020 10:02

I need some help on what to do about my 14yr old who has broken his self isolation. He got sent home from school for coughing and yesterday he refused to stay in and went out. He was told if he went out his SIM card would be cancelled and the Wi-fi password changed but he still went out, I couldn’t physically stop him going out. I don’t know what to do 😢😢😢😢

OP posts:

NuffSaidSam · 22/03/2020 11:39

Uncalled for PeterPan

Plenty (I would say most!) teens are twats occasionally. It's not the OP's fault.

There are loads of adults who can't comprehend what's going on (because it's massive and scary and hard to comprehend), it's not suprise there are teenagers who don't get it.

Thelittleweasel · 22/03/2020 11:41

@WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo

I love that idea! @Bennypeny You simply have to get through to this DC. Having said that it is probably not ...

tiredanddangerous · 22/03/2020 11:41

So have you cancelled his SIM card and changed the wifi password? Or has he learned that he can do what he likes with no consequences?

Thelittleweasel · 22/03/2020 11:50

Another idea is to simply phone all the parents of all his friends and let them know that if he is in contact with their DCs then he is putting them at risk. Let those parents add to his humiliation

@Bennypeny

PeterPanGoesWrong · 22/03/2020 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

alreadytaken · 22/03/2020 11:54

taking away his sim card and refusing wifi make him more likely to want to go out, but you need to follow through now you have said it.

Talk to him - explain again why he needs to stay in. Ask him why he is still determined to go out. try to keep calm when doing so. Ask him how you can make staying in better for him, it is a tough time and we all need to try and make it easier. Tell him he needs to help in the house or garden now. Teach him to cook. Put exercise routines on and do them with him - get him to source online things.

Any relatives who are just a bit older who could talk to him - phone or face time? Teenagers often respond better to advice from, say, a 21 year old.

NuffSaidSam · 22/03/2020 12:02

PeterPan

It wasn't your advice I took issue with.

It was this:

'How did you manage to raise such a selfish twat?'

That's not actually advice. The OP did not ask via the medium of Mumsnet to be insulted or have her parenting attacked. That was not requested.

CheekyMango · 22/03/2020 12:03

I don't normally condone violence but a slap might go a long way... (only joking) but food ration him and lock the cupboards? Delete all gaming profiles esp on xbox

caz114 · 22/03/2020 12:07

A stern talking too and riot act if needed.
Follow through on the punishment
and finally
ration loo roll!

Poppi89 · 22/03/2020 12:15

The strict method taking things away etc has not worked so have you tried sitting him down and showing him some respect and treating him like an adult. maybe explain that the older generation gave a lot up for us during the war and rationing so now we have to make it up to them by reducing the risk of the spread.
I'm not justifying his actions at all but some teenagers just break rules for the sake of it whereas if you change the game and leave the decision up to him it may make him more sensible?
As a PP said there are some adults not even taking it seriously so don't be too hard on your self. Apart from physically locking him in the house which will make him rebel even more then I'm not sure what else you can do!

SneezyMcSneezeface · 22/03/2020 12:25

He's 14, so you need to take charge and tell him he's not to go out. Selfish wanker that he is. Take his phone, his computer, all of it.

WeAllHaveWings · 22/03/2020 13:32

Peer pressure is really strong right now. ds has had several messages asking him why he isn't coming out. Staying in means you are scared, doing as mummy tells you etc, not many teens have the self confidence to turn around to friends and say they are staying in because the country needs everyone to do this and people are dying.

Add to that conflicting messages, our local football team sent a message out this morning letting fans know the shop at the stadium is open Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and some of their friends will be back at school on Monday as they are children of key workers.

If you teen does have the confidence get them sharing the message on all their social media accounts and spread the message. ❤ Get them shaming local businesses that are posting and flouting the advice.

Elieza · 22/03/2020 13:39

Remind him that the young can be carriers, with no symptoms, and if he brings it home to you and you subsequently die that he will then be in an orphanage. No mobile phone. No WiFi. No love. Pretty shit existence.

The young think they are invincible. I thought so too at his age.

Rocsand03 · 23/03/2020 12:57

Well said nuffsaidsam! Yes by all means follow though on your consequences and don’t be scared to. We’re the parents and we’re here to keep them (and everybody else at the moment) safe. Mines 14 and asked to go out to a friend’s house as I just said on another post but I won’t let him until I know for a fact we all have the all clear. They’re fed up, bored, frost rates, life’s ended... just another day in the life of a teenager basically, it just that it’s now indoors. But yes, he must understand the importance of if all, talk to his pals on FaceTime etc. It’s not ideal but it’s not forever. Everybody has their own parenting methods, we are ALL anxious right now, so we all need to work together and suooort each other and not other people’s children off calling them all sorts.

Rocsand03 · 23/03/2020 13:05

That should’ve read frustrated 😂😂

WeAllHaveWings · 23/03/2020 20:22

Mines 14 and asked to go out to a friend’s house as I just said on another post but I won’t let him until I know for a fact we all have the all clear.

@Rocsand03 What do you mean by 'I know for a fact we all have the all clear'?

He obviously won't be able to go to a friends until the government advice on social distancing changes. This could be weeks/months.

LilQueenie · 23/03/2020 20:24

lock the doors and windows if they are lockable ones. don't let him near the key.

Rocsand03 · 23/03/2020 20:25

I said until we we all know we are in the clear we are not going anywhere, meaning when the government tells us

WeAllHaveWings · 23/03/2020 20:28

👍

cdtaylornats · 23/03/2020 21:57

"Don't call the police. It isn't a police matter"

As of tonight it is.

Patch23042 · 23/03/2020 22:14

Peer pressure is difficult to resist. I think that when the PM said, “if friends ask you to go out, say no” he was addressing teens and young adults.

Some parents are stupid. One local mother of five told her children that they could each have one friend round, and I had to explain to my son yesterday precisely why he wouldn’t be going there, despite being invited. A few other parents have been equally daft.

Hopefully the new measures announced tonight and the involvement of the police will have an impact.

NCTDN · 27/03/2020 22:37

How is he now op? Understanding the reasons?

Cohle · 27/03/2020 22:45

Inform the police. They'll scare the shit out of him.

cece2016 · 06/04/2020 13:54

People who are saying "they dont understand how he is 14 and you can't stop him? And "if I had a child of that age behaving so disrespectfully, they would be moving into the shed pretty sharpish with basic food left outside the door" . Firstly i feel like if you are not in the parents shoes you would def not understand,how are you going to judge her parental skills and you dont have kids yourself or kids that age? its very easy for people to suggest what they would be doing, but things are always different when you are dealing with them first hand..And yes it can be hard trying to stop a teen leaving the house,some kids are very difficult and would literally do anything they can to get out..
Teen years are probably the most difficult age to navigate,especially in this day and age.As for the punishment,i agree changing the wifi password would be great.. good luck.. This too shall pass :)

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