How much freedom 14/15 yo?

[Meanderer]

My daughter is almost 15, we live in a suburb of a big city.
What is a reasonable amount of info to ask for when she says she wants to go out? We usually ask where, who with, how long, and then can she let us know if plans change. Also if she loses contact (eg her phone battery runs out and noone with a phone is with her) she’s to come Home. She says it makes her feel really restricted having to tell us all this stuff. She constantly makes us work really hard to find out her plans, as evasive as if she was hiding something but she isn’t, she’s just pushing back. Do we just accept this is the dynamics for now?

NB this is only daytime/early evening. She does go out at night occasionally but doesn’t push back so much on that.

You should know the basics of where she is going and who with. Mine never had to 'report' as such but we always talked so they would mention their plans.

Just now though, obviously she should not be going anywhere.

I wouldn't expect mine to come home if their phone died. Usually they send a text from a friend phone letting me l ow their phone has died, they are fine and I can get the on Bobs phone.

I think you can probably park the issue of her socialising until this pandemic is under control.

Well right now she shouldn’t be going anywhere.

But under normal circumstances

We usually ask where, who with, how long, and then can she let us know if plans change. Also if she loses contact (eg her phone battery runs out and noone with a phone is with her) she’s to come Home.

All fine except if her phone battery dies I would allow her to stay out but she would have to phone from a friend’s phone to say her phone had died and to confirm all original plans still in place or any changes. I wouldn’t make her come home.

Do we just accept this is the dynamics for now?

No. she accepts the dynamics for now. The dynamics being that she provides all the information you, her parent, requests or she doesn’t go out.

The golden rule for us was sticking together... no one wandering off and being alone, and you all look out for each other

I think you can probably park the issue of her socialising until this pandemic is under control.

^ this. Ask again in another 12 weeks!