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[hairbear]

hey its not your failure, kids will do what they want to do and our job is to be around to support and love them, whatever

maybe not whatever

but get your general message and think generally agree

not whatever

bu then mine arent teenagers yet

if they know that they are loved life is not so hard on them. so many teenagers think noon loves them

many teenagers are loved very much and still go off the rails

it is not only love that creates a functioning meber of society

i went off the rails
for no reason other than to suit myself
my parents didnt suport me through it
but my dad was there when i came out of it
will i have the patience when my dc's maybe go through it?

True, but if they feel alienated and everone hates them then they think what is the point. Its important to try and keep open communication with them even if you think they are being unreasonable.

bloody hell i cant type after a few drinks

Have another one its the only thing that gets you through it!!

we can all at some point feel alienated and that everyone hates us - its not partic to teenagers - althought hey wallow in the drama - the important bit is not to opander to their every wishes - becuase real life in the real world isn;t like that - but yes i agree - teenagers are often referred to as older toddlers

not so - easy generalisation. teenagers need to be 'managed' the hard part of managing a teenager is keping the lines of communication open.

I went off the rails as a teenager and no-one seemed to care. on reflection that was me being dramatic so i can see it now in my 15yr old an can understand how he feels. they dont have the experience of life to see that these feelings will pass but we do and we need to pass that on to them

love, support and DISCIPLINE

You are so right that teenagers don't have the life experiences to cope with stuff but that we, as the adults often do. And that is why , although I will always love mychildren if they are being a horses arse over something, I'll tell them.

Because I'm the grown up.

Giving in all the time just makes you a doormat. Parenying isn't a popularity contest, I'm not there to be their 'mate', I'm more important than that, I'm their mum.

They know I love them, they also know I've got teir best intesests in mind.

My kids are not teenagers yet, but I run the same rules in my classes at school. I'm very fond of the kids I work with, but in the end just about all the time I do know best cos, hey, I'm the grown up. And if they hate me in the short term, I don't mind, as long as they get where they need to be at the end.