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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

My sons an alcoholic

20 replies

laraDiller · 02/03/2020 08:04

Yesterday I found 5 empty bottles of beer in my ds13 bedroom. I am extremely concerned as this could ruin his life, I'm not sure wether i should phone the police or give him serious punishments and I don't know any punishments so could you tell me some.

Thank you if you replied

OP posts:

msmith501 · 02/03/2020 08:33

Five bottles of beer, whilst not desirable in any way for a 13 year old, do not make him an alcoholic. Ringing the police would be a waste of everyone's time - I'm not even sure it's illegal for him to drink at home... probably depends on where you live. Surely the right course of action is to sit down with him and have a proper and reasonable discussion. It may be that the bottles were shared by several of his friends. I'd take a calm approach and try not to close avenues of conversation.

throwaway201809 · 02/03/2020 08:36

Alcoholic is a bit of a stretch! The police really don't have time to be wasting on 5 beers found in a teenager's bedroom. Have you tried talking to your son about this?

The school can probably offer you some advice/assistance unless there's a massive drip feed coming?

TreeTopTim · 02/03/2020 08:36

5 bottles of beer seems like a lot to me. I wouldn't punish him I would speak to him.

It may be that it was him and his friends drinking them or it may be that he has an alcohol problem therefore he needs help. Shouting and punishing him won't help.

Bluntness100 · 02/03/2020 08:37

I’m sorry you heed to explain more why you think he is an alcoholic. Clearly finding a few bottles in a teens bedroom doesn’t make him an alkie.

HulksPurplePanties · 02/03/2020 08:39

Unless this is part of a pattern of finding empty alcohol bottles, 5 bottles does not make him an alcoholic....

LouLouLoo · 02/03/2020 08:39

It’s 5 beers not 5 litres of vodka!

Not ideal but very common for teenagers to experiment with alcohol.

He may possibly have drunk them with friends rather than by himself.

Talk to him calmly. The Police can’t and won’t do anything.

Fairylea · 02/03/2020 08:39

Wow overreacting much...!

5 bottles of beer isn’t great but doesn’t mean he’s an alcoholic. He could have got them to share with friends. Yes be angry but he hasn’t ruined his life!

yikesanotherbooboo · 02/03/2020 08:57

Why would you call the police? Are you thinking he has stolen them?
I would be talking to DS and finding out the whys and wherefores before panicking. Let's face it 13 year olds experiment and push boundaries and lots of 13 year olds smoke and drink. Obviously it's a bad idea so make your feelings known and punish if it is appropriate. Don't overreact as there will potentially be many more incidents over the next few years.

GreenTulips · 02/03/2020 09:00

Some schools have alcohol awareness sessions

Might be worth asking about if you are concerned

It may just be a one off

Busymum45 · 02/03/2020 11:14

Oh dear don't think he's an alcoholic of course but please have a chat with him and find out what's going on xxx

Bluntness100 · 02/03/2020 11:38

I wonder if the op will come back. Or if there is a back story here, as this is a very odd thread.

Teens experiment with booze, why would it ruin his life, why call the police, why think he’s an alcoholic. None of it makes sense without further information.

Original poster

laraDiller · 02/03/2020 15:22

I have tried to keep quit about him because i know they give it a try but he has done it a few times now that is why I think he's becoming an alcoholic and I'm going to speak to him when he gets back from school and let him explain himself

OP posts:

PickleMyPepper · 02/03/2020 15:27

Oh get a grip. Alcoholic? Really?
He's 13 and it's 5 bottles of beer, not exactly desirable but no where near an 'alcoholic'.
Ridiculous.

Find out where he got the alcohol, ask yourself how you didn't know he'd been getting drunk and ground him.
Stop any pocket money he gets.

Be a parent and he won't 'mess up his life'.

Bluntness100 · 02/03/2020 15:30

I think that’s a good plan op

Try to dial it down on the amateur dramatics though, don’t be telling him he will ruin his life, that he’s an alcoholic or that you’ll be calling the police on him.

msmith501 · 02/03/2020 15:52

Alcoholic is having vodka on his cornflakes

Apolloanddaphne · 02/03/2020 16:28

I doubt he is an alcoholic and there is no need to involve the police. What you do need to do is open up a dialogue with him about drinking and alcohol use in general. I imagine it is probably just teenage experimentation but is worth keeping an eye on. Where do you think he might be getting it?

HulksPurplePanties · 02/03/2020 16:39

What do you mean a few times OP? Is this not the first time you've found empty bottles? Does He often have friends in his room?

Drinking at that age IS normal. Drinking alone, especially 5 bottles of beer, isn't.

Jumping to the label of alcoholic (which is massively overused on MN) isn't helpful, but, if this is a pattern of behavior at his age, you may need to get professional help (not police, think psych.)

Fleetheart · 04/03/2020 07:56

You’re best to chat with him. If he’s leaving these for you to find, he’s not exactly hiding it. Do you think he is drinking 5 at once? Can you talk to him unemotionally and try and understand what’s going on? As the others say it’s not uncommon for 13 year olds to start trying beer now.

Furrydog7 · 04/03/2020 20:46

The word alcoholic is probably too strong for this situation. Does he have friends in his room? If so he may have shared the beer with his friends. It isn't ideal but i drank alcohol with my friends at 13. When i was at school we spent a lot of time on a friday discussing what alcohol we were having over the weekend. Needless to say the novelty wore off when i was 18 and i settled down at uni and got a good degree.

Busymum45 · 04/03/2020 21:18

Hiya have you managed to chat as yet ?

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