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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DD binge eating any 'treat' foods I have in the house

21 replies

BombayTricycleClub · 29/02/2020 19:01

DD is in first year of secondary school and no longer attends wraparound care so she leaves 30 minutes after me in the morning before school and gets home 30 minutes before me in the evening.

Since starting secondary and being home alone for these brief periods, she has been eating vast amount of treat food which we have occasionally e.g. she'll eat a full 6-multipack of crisps in one day whereas this would usually last us both a week (we both sometimes take a packet with lunch) or a mutipack of chocolate.

Now, I've never been one to fully restrict these kinds of foods as I've seen first hand that this then results in teens gorging on these foods as soon as they get a bit of freedom. However, that still apears to be what's happening here! We have a pudding of sorts every night after dinner which might be something like a scoop of icecream, jelly, small slice of cake, biscuit bar like a penguin etc. I've suggested cutting that down to only weekends as DD has started to buy these types of foods with her school lunches sometimes also at interval!

She complains she is hungry all the time. She'll quite happily eat endless amounts of fruit but seems lately to only like berries which are expensive (she only likes fresh, not frozen). E.g. a £3 punnet of raspberries or £2 punnet of grapes will last her less than 5 minutes each and then she's still wanting more.

I don't know how I can manage her food choices at school. Apparently no one takes a packed lunch or their own snacks in 'nowadays' like they did when i was at school. I give her £3 a day which is enough for a snack (she says she's starving until lunchtime without one) then £2.50 for either a cooked lunch meal or snack type meal deal. Both meal deals come with the choice of fruit or a biscuit/cake/muffin and you can guess which choice she always goes for.

Like I said, I don't know how to help her with her choices at school so is the answer to stop buying these types of food for the house? But will that then drive her to start having more of these at school or using her pocket money to buy some on the way home? This is currently happening to my colleague - she's always forbidden 'junk food' and recently discovered a huge box of a 'sweet stash' under her DD's bed. She's been buying and saving up food in her room in secret.

We've did lots and lots of talking and education about her food choices and she quite plainly says that she just can't stop herself eating biscuits and crisps etc if she sees them there.

I'd appreciate any advice. More so cheap but healthy ideas of foods I can have at home which i don't mind her having large amounts of. I can't afford to spend £60 per week on berries which I think might be the only solution!

FYI she's at the high end of a healthy weight for her height and she isn't concerned about her weight currently. She does one hour of walking a day for getting to school and goes cycling 3-4 times per week. I do think she'll soon be overweight though even with a growth spurt.

She's happy at school and has very active, slim friends. They all seem to have a much healthier attitude to food than DD though!

Am i overthinking this? Is this just a typical part of the teen phase?

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 29/02/2020 19:06

You buy your snack food and leave it in the car for work

She gets x bags of crisps/snack bars for her room -

Then fill the fruit bowl and buy yogurts for the fridge.

GreenLeaf88 · 29/02/2020 19:09

It's harsh but I would suggest don't buy any junk food at all for the house and dont give her any money either. Pack her healthy lunches and snacks and that's all she gets!

Monstermissy36 · 29/02/2020 19:12

Watching with interest as my ds in year 8 hoovers through the cupboards after school and eats all the lunchbox stuff and treats.

He's home 2 hours before me so lots of time to get through it! I have considered leaving it in the car tbh

caulkheaded · 29/02/2020 19:12

What do you think is behind it? Possibly boredom related? Or the sudden freedom of being able to “choose” what she wants? Comfort eating?

vincettenoir · 29/02/2020 19:17

I was like this around around 15-16. I would eat my lunch at break time, have unhealthy snacks at lunchtime and then get chips on the way home before dinner. I was constantly hungry for a good few years! I get why you are concerned about it because you want your daughter to learn better habits. But I think there’s every chance she’ll grow out it naturally like I did.

BombayTricycleClub · 29/02/2020 19:17

Dividing and rationing seems a simple and quick fix! I'm going to give that a try. She gets a set amount and reasonable amount of treat foods (her choice) each week when I go shopping. It's up to her if she wants to eat it all in one sitting or ration out.

Likewise, I'm going to let her pick three berry punnets a week for the fridge. If she wants to eat them all in one go, fine that's her choice. I'll make sure the fruit bowl is also filled with apples, oranges and bananas so she can't every complain of hunger instead of just being fussy. I'll ensure we have plenty of yogurts too.

OP posts:
Monty27 · 29/02/2020 19:23

I used to cook a chicken or chicken pieces instead of crisps etc and buy healthier snacks like flapjack and cereal bars. Not that healthy I know but better maybe than some others.
DS was like this at that age.

CheddarGorgeous · 29/02/2020 19:24

What is her diet like? What does she have for breakfast? She needs protein to keep her going. Those "starving" feelings are more likely a sugar crash and the bingeing is most likely boredom.

Dozer · 29/02/2020 19:24

I began binge eating at that age and still have problems with it.

Recommend hiding, or even better not buying, those foods.

Dozer · 29/02/2020 19:30

Also think that £5.50 daily school food budget seems too high.

IceColdCat · 29/02/2020 19:30

So say you buy a multi pack of crisps to last a week and she eat all of it the first day. Does that mean no snacks for the rest of the week? Or what does she do the other nights?

PatoPato · 29/02/2020 19:36

We were allowed free rein of food at the same age and I regularly ate a 6 pack of penguins or crisps when I got home as a teenager
I've struggled with my weight all my life.
Now I have chicken, oats cakes, houmous & carrots to hand. Also a good variety of cereals for an extra evening 'snack' with one eye on the sugar content. Sugar is the devils work - I'm completely addicted to it as is DD

GeorgeTheFirst · 29/02/2020 19:39

She's eating too much crap, it makes me hungry too. She needs more protein and fewer carbs. Leave stuff in the house but make it more filling - nuts and raisins, flapjacks, granary toast. Stop buying the crap.

QueenOfOversharing · 29/02/2020 19:41

Only thing I'm thinking of is protein snacks - more filling, and if she's snacking like I do (!!!!) that'll be carbs & fat. Babybels, sliced meats, chicken as someone mentioned.

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 29/02/2020 19:41

Definitely try more filling snacks. Oat cakes with almond butter?

pinkpig12345 · 21/03/2020 22:28

I also struggled with binge eating at that age and still do now. It's hard bc u can still binge on 'healthy' things and often kids find a way to 'junk' food somehow, at school or the shop after school etc. Without wanting to sound preachy I think it's so so important to make sure not just that she's eating healthily but that she has a healthy relationship with food! It's so easy to learn to fear or feel guilty about eating 'bad' foods and struggling with body image is obviously really common in girls. I don't think there is a perfect or easy solution but one thing I'd say is try to make sure she's happy and fulfilled in her daily life as I'm sure is every parent's goal. I found taking up sport, especially netball as a team sport helped build a healthy lifestyle overall without feeling like a chore and encouraged me to focus less on the way I looked. Bc it made me happy I didn't feel as many cravings to binge or sort of fill a hole. Might not be the same in your case but felt compelled to make an account to reply to this bc I know hard it is to struggle with food and self control around food

vilamoura2003 · 23/03/2020 22:15

I can completely sympathise 👍 My DD is exactly the same.

I have harped on until the cows come home about healthy choices and don't buy stuff, but it is still a bone of contention in our household.

I have also tried to make DD be fulfilled in her daily life, but have you tried to make a teenage girl participate in external sport activities, she's not interested and says it's not the done thing these days 🤷‍♀️

It's so hard - you can't make them make the right choices. If you manage it, let me know how 🙄

PhoneZombie · 23/03/2020 22:24

I think many kids would do this if given free rein.

I remember my mum refused to buy snack type food when we were children, and any she did buy (for Christmas or a party) were hidden away.

We were told there was bread and fruit (boring fruit like apples and pears) if we were hungry. I was always hungry, but a piece of toast wasn't all that exciting so tends to discourage overeating...

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 23/03/2020 22:39

My two (14 and 11) also eat a lot and DS (11) especially seems hungry all the time. He's definitely growing fast right now so I think that's part of it.

I agree with not buying much junk food and keeping healthy snacks available, I always have carrots, apples, cereal bars, low sugar yoghurts, etc. around. I've also let them know that shops aren't as well-stocked as usual and so if they scoff everything, I may not be able to replace it!

Am currently making a chicken and veg soup (earlier here in USA) as a good snack when they get peckish.

MrsNoah2020 · 23/03/2020 22:46

TBH I'm a hell of a lot older than your DD, and a size 10, but I can't resist crisps - could easily eat 6 packets if left unattended.

I would be really wary of turning this into a battle of wills. I would quietly cut back on the amount of unhealthy snacks at home and get her involved in food planning and cooking. If she feels 'done to', she will rebel.

IAmTheBFG · 25/03/2020 07:37

Take her to see her GP (I appreciate this may not be practical at the moment!) and explore the possibility of her having Binge Eating Disorder because without proper help this is likely to only escalate - I began binging on treat food in the house when I was about 11 and by 13 I was refularly eating twelve french fancies in one sitting. I found approaches like locking food away made me feel angry and ashamed - it's much better to address the underlying psychological causes. Particularly because once she leaves home, you won't be able to restrict what food she has access to and she will need to be in a position to self-regulate.

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