13 year old girl suddenly exercising in her room - constantly

[JaneSmall]

My Niece is an active and happy girl she hasn't shown any signs of being concerned about her body. She is tall and slim with long legs, but suddenly she is measuring and weighing her self and exercising constantly. She is doing it in her room pretty much in secret. He mum is doesn't know where to start, she doesn't want to make an issue of it. I wondered if there is something trending on YouTube or Face Book that has started this activity,
If anyone knows the Mums know! Thank you

A massive red flag for an eating disorder and mum very much needs to know this is an issue.

www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/warning-signs-and-symptoms

www.healthline.com/nutrition/common-eating-disorders

www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/general-information/compulsive-exercise

www.feedyourinstinct.com.au/

If you dm me I’ll send links to some great support groups.

This would scare the shit out of me to be honest.

The exercise combined with the measuring AND the secrecy sounds like very unhealthy behaviour.

My anorexia started very suddenly at the same age - and all because of a falling out with a friend . I obviously had a fuck tonne of other mental health issues for something like that to trigger something so major but all I would suggest is to try to spend as much time with her as possible and create lots of opportunities to discuss anything that might have set this off before it gets too ingrained.

This is a great explanation of what creates the conditions Thor an ED to develop
tabithafarrar.com/2016/12/negative-energy-balance-anorexia/

uncexchanges.org/2014/12/01/negative-energy-balance-a-biological-trap-for-people-prone-to-anorexia-nervosa/

Thank you so much for the links. I have read the articles, very good indeed.
I have an update. Teenagers Mum managed to have a chat this morning and it appears that one of her best pals has been pointing out her spots, (poor lass has just started her periods) and told her that she is putting on weight also that it is time to cut her childish long hair - the sort of thick,long, blonde hair every girl dreams of. Hmmm me thinks jealousy is playing a part here. Still dangerous. Mum has suggested doing some Zumba or Figure 8 in the living room watching YouTube, that way mum can keep an eye on the exercise and make sure she doesn''t hurt her self.

It is such a shame, my niece isn't a selfie kind of girl, the only pictures she posts are of her cats and dogs. She has never been one to care about her self image.

You know, parents remove doors to prevent secret exercise. If this girl is having disordered thoughts which it sounds like she is mum would be unwittingly colluding. Something hindsight makes most parents of kids with an ED realise.

Erm... teens start comparing themselves with their peers far more at that age. My son has a very slim frame and at that age got an exercise bar for his door and was hanging off it repeatedly during the day. I also noticed he and his friends were having about how they were developing, most remarkably... everybody started ordering shoes bigger than they needed when we were bowling.

I decided that as long as he was eating well and plenty, I wouldn’t worry.

Yes, kids do compare themselves but it's the secrecy and obsession that concerns me. I was pleased when my d became very active and started eating healthier...not too long afterwards she became so ill I thought she's die. eating disorders creep up in plain sight. The scales need to be thrown out, it feeds obsessional thoughts and these behaviours should be stamped on. Mum needs to be absolutely certain niece is eating and that means seeing her eat. It's really better safe than sorry.

I don't think mum is colluding I think she is trying to bring it out into the open. They have a very close relationship. Taking my nieces door off would be very uncomfortable for everyone particularly as she has 2 male brothers in their 20's, seems like punishment to me rather than understanding.

If she had joined a running club and was exercising that way no one would bat an eyelid. We all want our kids to take more exercise it's how this has started to happen that is wrong by directing her need to exercise in a sociable, safe way then may be it won't be a nasty issue needing doors removed. Not saying it won't, but education and understanding has to come first.

Mum is going to talk about exercise and nutrition - the balance - as in the articles you lovely ladies have shared and the fact that muscle weighs more than fat (not that she has any) so she can expect to gain a little with exercise which will hopefully put her off doing it.
My question to you was if you had seen any fad on YouTube or FB that was encouraging young girls to weigh, measure and exercise but it seems not, it seems to be right on the doorstep with a best friend.

I like the direct approach and would happily tell the girl to wind it in or I'll have a word with her mother who would be mortified (church going, loving kindness, christian). This would of course cause more friction for everyone concerned so I will keep schtum.

Thank you all for your comments

Mum needs to throw the scales out pronto. A friends dd did this at this age. She was in a swimming club and felt ‘fatter’ than the other ‘slimmer’ girls.

Id also to talk to her about coming off social media and you tube for a while. They are beyond damaging for young minds.

If you give an alcoholic a supervised drink a day they will still seek out more alcohol.

Doing supervised Zumba won’t stop her exercising in her room. She will need nhs support if it carries on.

I meant that if the obsession spirals things like removing doors are the reality, so are timed showers (mine jogged on the spot in the shower) this is how serious it can get. It’s not punishment but a safety measure but hopefully niece is a long way from that. The colluding reference is not criticism, but it is something a lot of parents in my position realise they’ve done in hindsight.

Could be a phase but I don't think it should be ignored.
I know with mine I'd be putting the issues right on the table "You know if I read up online about you doing that, every website will say you're developing anorexia or some kind of horrible relationship with food & exercise. Can you reassure me that you're just trying to improve yourself and not developing an obsession?"

That's not hassling because it's not saying "don't do that" but rather it's asking them to take ownership. And telling them you aren't going to pretend it isn't happening. If you're lucky you can move the conversation onto things like "What's bothering you?" Again not telling them what to do, but giving them ways to talk about their problems and grapple with issues and establish principles how to solve problems and see what options they have, put their problems in perspective : all those benefits that arise from being able to talk about things not keep a tight lid on them.