Name changed as have been 'outed' on here before and want to make sure this is separate to other threads for DD's privacy.
I am really worried about DD. She has been unhappy for a long time. Currently under CAHMS. Has self harmed in the past. Is on the waiting list for autism assessment too.
She's started pushing boundaries to the point that I think she's going into self destruct. Has been smoking because of "stress". I've tried to get to the bottom of what the stress is about, but she won't tell me and gets angry with me for worrying.
Today after school, she wasn't expecting me to be in. She called "hello" and when I answered, I heard her whisper "sorry" to someone at the door. I went outside to see who it was and they were gone. She eventually admitted that it was a male friend that I hadn't met. I asked why she didn't invite him in anyway and she said he doesn't like meeting people - whereas I'm thinking pull the other one.
A couple of weeks ago, she was asking me if I was going to be out one day after school and something didn't sit right, so I looked at her phone and saw she had mentioned to a friend that she was thinking of 'hooking up' with a boy.
Me and DD had a long chat about it. Until about a month ago, DD was saying to me that she was gay. I've talked to her about self respect and consent and love. I've always been open about sex in conversation. She's only 13.
The thing is - I can't always be home when she gets home from school. There are times when she'll be home for an hour or two before me. I don't know what I can do to make sure she's not doing something self-destructive.
I am not with her father. He can be quite nasty and emotionally abusive and I know will not be supportive.
I don't know what to do