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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

17 year old son keeps calling his mother a bitch

8 replies

anotherDad17 · 22/02/2020 21:07

Hi, sorry for a weak first post. My 17 year old son is normally a good boy but his language has taken a nose dive recently and it's becoming entrenched in "normality". Recently he's taken a fondness for calling his mother a "bitch". It's not meant as "offensive" he's not intending offence, and his mum isn't as annoyed as myself or even our company, but it's become embarrassing to me as he's said it in company now, a few times, and folks are .... quite shocked.

I told him today, it's got to stop, it's not the intention of the delivery, but just like racism, if you share a joke and you all find it funny, except the guy in the corner, it's wrong, even if you find it OK or a joke, or the recipient does.

After the explanation he agreed with this and promised not to. I said if it happens again I will go and fetch a consensus of opinion on how to deal with a recurrence from the internet, after all, a broad view of what people think should wake him up to reality on wether this is acceptable and to what degree.

He lasted 4 hours, came down to the kitchen, shouted "You bitch" to his mother and I'm here 5 minutes later executing the first step on my promise, according to the rules of consequences.

What are peoples opinions on how to deal with this matter, please? I have to prepare this young man for the world.

OP posts:
LennyPugGoat · 22/02/2020 21:12

I’d be asking him how he would react if another man or friend referred to his mum in this way?

I’d explain how it makes me feel, even if it’s intended as endearing or joking it’s not the way you want your family viewed.

I have teenage girls, we rib each other as mother and daughters as they also do with their dad. We wouldn’t think it’s appropriate in public though!

notcharlie · 22/02/2020 21:17

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Sux2buthen · 22/02/2020 21:46

@notcharlie wtfConfused

Jesz · 22/02/2020 21:47

@notcharlie lay off the ket maybe?

oopsdaisy · 22/02/2020 22:03

Would he care if you told him that it makes him look like a total tit each time he says it - it's literally not cool, clever or funny. Could make him self conscious/socially aware and stop him saying it?

Or is it attention seeking?

oopsdaisy · 22/02/2020 22:07

Or maybe she can just call him a 'fucking dickhead' in return, preferably in front of his mates.

PickleBottomNo3sMum · 22/02/2020 22:31

You could ask him to explain the meaning of the word and discuss how it came to be used as a swear word so as to try to get him to understand how demeaning and offensive it is to women.

anotherDad17 · 22/02/2020 22:31

I think her retorting with the banter is propelling this which is why I'm trying to step in. As someone pointed out you can have banter inside the family in private, but as soon as it leaks out to public its a different thing.

He doesn't as far as I can tell fully grasp the social boundaries. What is more, it took him only a few hours after a serious talking to to just revert to using that language.

We've had the conversation. And he said he understood. Now is the time for action, the talking is over.

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