Hi there,
Me and Ds are in a sad place. Cant afford to move out and away from his dad who he cannot stand and who I have little respect for. Son has had a lot of mental abuse from his church going dad. I contacted a family member for help when things hit crisis point. Sadly that family member proved rather gullible and believed DH's spin on what was happening. DH is very thin skinned and short tempered. DS is displaying some worrying behaviours. DS tries to hide things from me as I am sole breadwinner and under huge pressure with work and financially.
Feel very stuck as I would move out as would DS if I could pay for somewhere else just so that he could have a peaceful, cruelty free life. I will readily admit that he can be very rude to DH. Partially I think he does it to test DH. The sad thing is that Dh basically spends his days lying on bed reading phone. I am, shall we say, the capable one.
I can no longer contact his family for support. It isn't fair on them, they have issues of their own and I am moving away from having anything much to do with them really as it was clear when I last sought help that they doubted the truth what I was saying and I cant forgive them for that. I felt gutted by that to be honest. I sought help from a stranger who didnt doubt me.
So here we are. What can I do to help DS with the limited amount of childhood he has left? He is miserable. I'm miserable and exhausted and dont know where to turn to. Cant burden my family who have far too many problems of their own. I know that if DHs family knew just what their nephew was going through, they would be shocked. Feel very let down.
What do you do when you are forced to share the same roof as someone like Dh? How can I best protect my son and what about the damage done to date by his dad's behaviour.?
I'm sorry this is so long but I dont know where to turn. I am also feeling very sad and disappointed about the fact that my honesty has been called into question. I have been stewing over that for sometime and I think, will have to call DHs family out on that and possibly break off contact with them. But my priority is of course DS.
I'd be so grateful for help/suggestions. And to G who will never read this, every word I told you was true. I am so sad that the man I looked up to and respected for so long was taken in by DHs lies. Did you not think it strange that he clashed massively with the police and social services too? I wish you had believed me as I think you are the one person who might have been able to help us/ DS. I was still happy to see you all at Christmas but I think that will be the last time for a long while.
My husband is catholic and goes to mass nearly every day. Should I ask the priest for help?
And to anyone else in a similar situation, gentle hugs and a cuppa.