14 YO DD trying to commit suicide for attention & self harming

[Applegarth14]

Hi

I am new to the group and absolutely beside myself and don't know what to do, so hoping you lovely people might have some advice.

My ex husband left when my kids were 6 mo + 4yr, for another woman I decided not to tell the kids that he was having an affair as he is still with the woman and I didnt want the relationship she had with the kids to be affected as we have 50/50 custody.

18 months ago my daughter found out that the reason he left and started self-harming and tried to take her own life. She moved in with me permanently and her relationship with her Dad faded fast, tbh they were both at fault.

Last year she was sexually assaulted by her then boyfriend, and is prosecuting, which is extremely stressful and we should find out next week if the police will prosecute.

Since November she has tried to take her own life approx every 2-3 weeks, by strangulation with her phone cable, drinking bleach and various other forms.

She is under Camhs and the psychiatrist is confident that she is doing it for attention but there is a worry of mis adventure. I am not getting much help from her camhs worker, everyone seems to dismiss her as its for attention, I can't get hold of her social worker and after another incident at the weekend I just don't know what to do.

Has anyone had any experience of this? what am I meant to do?

thanks Ruth

My eldest has tried to take her own life more than once, so I totally get how worrying, stressful and exhausting it is. Even if it is "for attention", it still shows that her thinking is flawed, and still means that she needs help. When my DD took her first overdose, CAMHS assessed her, decided it wasn't serious and said they didn't need to see her. Not too long after that she took another, much more serious overdose. We realised that we couldn't trust CAMHS and paid for her to see a private therapist. I know that isn't an option for everyone.

Is she on ADs? The GP will be reluctant to prescribe them due to her age, but a psychiatrist can ask for her to be on Fluoxetine (the only AD approved for under 16s, or at least it was when my DD was under 16).

If you haven't already, lock away all medication in your house and lock away all the bleach. I know there will always be something she can use, but at least if you lock away the obvious stuff it might reduce your own guilt (not that I am for one minute suggesting you SHOULD feel guilty - I just know that I felt guilt myself).

Thank you

I have looked into paying for private therapy, but as she is already under Camhs no one is willing to help, and I can't take her out of camhs as it will effect the other services I am trying reach like family therapy.

How did you DD stop?

Your right about the guilt, the only tablets not locked away were the imodium and other similiar tablets and she took them last week ! I mean what the hell she thought was going to happen I don't know, but she actually took a video of the boxes she had taken and shown them to the school nurse. I'm just so stressed and constantly worrying about her

She is on AD's Sertryline she tried flouxitine but they didnt help, but because they don't think she is actually depressed they are reluctant to give her a decent dose

Are CAHMS able to help her? Is there a plan? I can quite believe she's not depressed but she's clearly extremely traumatised and in crisis, so what are they proposing?

I’m so sorry OP and I have no experience so I’m not sure if I can be of any help. I was just wondering if talking to Rape Crises might help?

Helping Teens Who Cut is a very well reviewed book too, I don’t know if that can be of any help?

Hi Ruth,
I just wanted so say that I feel for you. I don't have advice but we are going through the aftermath of a second suicide attempt by our teen daughter. It all feels quite overwhelming. I am exhausted by the endeavour to remain calm and carry on as usual, trying to shield our younger kids from what is going on. We have hidden all blades and medication. I hadn't even considered bleach. CAHMS are doing a good job but I am weary of being judged and analysed alongside our daughter. We are doing everything we can but the constant need to distract her and watch her is so tricky. I don't understand why CAMHS aren't taking your daughter seriously. If she is going to such lengths she is definitely needs to be taken seriously. Our daughter was under the crisis team and is seeing counsellors twice a week with regular psychiatrist meetings. Anyway, sending virtual support!