DD16 smoking

[maloofhoof]

I've discovered that DD16 is smoking. I've suspected she'd tried it several times, but this weekend I found out for definite and I don't know how to proceed.
The reason for being hesitant on how to confront her is that I smoke myself. I've thought a few times that mine were going missing but that stopped. She has an en suite bathroom and saw ash on the windowsill but again that stopped. There's been nothing else for nearly a year until this weekend. I walked upstairs and could smell smoke in the landing. I've never smoked in the house. Her bedroom door was shut, I knocked and there was no answer so walked in and she was in her bathroom with the door shut and could smell smoke even more strongly. I stood there in disbelief and returned downstairs. I was so shocked I didn't mention it. She later went out and I'm ashamed to say I looked in her school bag that she'd left in the bathroom and found tobacco, filters, papers and a rolling machine. The next morning I again smelt smoke on the landing. She's now at her dads until Wednesday and I don't know how to handle the situation.
I'm upset she thinks I'm stupid. I'm upset that she's obviously so addicted already that she's got the balls to do it in the house whilst I'm home. Do I pretend I don't know and let her continue in secret or confront yet accept that I can't stop her particularly as a smoker myself?

Well, the best way to handle t is to ask for her help to stop smoking. As long as you are smoking yourself you are being the biggest hypocrite. So quit and tell her it is destroying your health and looks. Say that you want it out the cigarette money on a jar and use it to go to Ibiza.

@LeGrandBleu so pretend I don't know and just ask her to help me quit?

Does anyone have any advice?

Id sit down, say you've noticed that she's started smoking, tell her how much you regret starting, say that you've been wanting to quit for ages, ask her to quit with you. Honesty is the best policy.

Also, how can you possibly be shocked that she's smoking when the example you've set her is that smoking is OK?

@ReallyLilyReally the shock was that she was so brazen to be doing it in the house.

She probably thought it wasnt a big deal. I'd talk to her, but leave any punishment or blame or whatever out of it, because she'll just throw it back in your face.

I've never smoked in the house

I'm sorry OP but you already set that example for her as hard that is to hear.

Honestly, I would get all her cigarettes and put it in the bin and come down hard on her.

I agree with the others; smoking at 16 is not so unusual; and how can you be so shocked if you smoke. Why don’t you give up and then you will be in a better position. Smoking in the house is not great, and I think you should focus on that rather the smoking itself, your house your rules. As you will remember from being 16 if you want to smoke you will do - but it’s not fair for her to stink the house out!